Perhaps it's a sign

So, check it out.

I have been having second thoughts, doubts, reconsiderings, whatever-you-want-to-call-its about going to LPN school.  Don't freak out.  I'm still applying.

The problems I have encountered include the following:

• I met a working CNA during my clinicals who has applied to my program THREE times, with a 3.9 GPA, and has been rejected.  She is even working in healthcare, AND her mother works at MATC (where I'm applying)!
• I met a working LPN during my clinicals who went through the program at MATC and also had a 3.9 GPA.  He was also male and I think that helps in a program filled with female applicants.
• My GPA could be more like an okay golf score than anything else.
• Doing clinicals and coursework made me suddenly SUPER grateful for my office job - which, if you recall, was the whole problem to begin with - that I was looking for something more and was so sick of office jobs.  This whole process was just what I needed to feel good about 8-5 M-F again.
• Looking for LPN jobs online has proved absolutely fruitless.  If there are jobs, they are part-time, on-call, working basically as a CNA.
• I am taking care of my parents' home while they are gone to Eastern Washington and paying utilities.  I am just getting by on my current full-time salary.  How will I afford it in school?  I know there are ways, but I don't want to do anything damaging money-wise if I already have a degree and the end goal is to raise children at home.
• This is not my dream.  It was a means to feel better about life while getting to my dream of being a mother and hopefully staying at home.  I don't like the idea of pouring money into something I'm not hoping will be the end result.  
• A lady in my home ward who doesn't know I am applying to LPN school wrote on my facebook wall "I worked an office job all through my LPN school and by the time I finished school, I wish I had just stayed at the office job" and regretted doing the LPN thing.  This came the day after I really prayed for an answer on what to do.  

On top of all of this, and amid my feelings of confusion, I saw this sign on the back of a bus in front of me advertising my exact school and program.  Someone had vandalized the eyes on the nurse to look psychotically evil.  Hello!  Plus, do I even need to mention the irony of the "STOP" sign right next to it?  Twilight Zone.  Ok, I don't really read into stuff like that, but I thought it was blog-worthy nonetheless.  

Now, all my friends and family have really been supporting me and cheering me on and I feel like quitting this whole thing would be letting everyone down.  I also went through a lot to be able to apply and took some crazy classes!  I don't want that all to go to waste.  I have decided to apply and see if I even get in.  If I do, great!  There's an answer.  If I don't, great!  There's an answer that allows me to travel to Florida to visit HJolley when she moves there (congrats Daniel on the job offer!!), afford utilities, pay off my other student loan, and continue to live homework-free.