Not How I Envisioned the Conversation to Go...

Note: To protect the innocent, names have been changed.  Also, I am by no means comparing this girl to Tai's character.

Conversation #1 - Me and Tai

Me: What's up with you and Elton lately?

Tai: So Elton has been really flirty lately - like picking me up and dropping me on a couch, making me oatmeal every day for breakfast this week.  Every day!  He hasn't asked me out in a while, but this is major flirting.  I just don't get it.

Me: Um, every day this week?  Picking you up?  Yeah, he's definitely interested.

Tai: Well he also got another girl's number right in front of me a couple weeks ago.

Me: What??  He is crazy.  He needs to settle down.  Elton is ridiculous.

Tai: Yeah, I don't get it.

Me: Well, I'm pretty good friends with him.  I'll just ask him straight up what his deal is.  You cool with that?

Tai: Yes, go ahead, as long as you can bring it up smoothly.  I'd love to hear this.


Conversation #2 - Me and Elton

Elton: So I don't mean to be gossipy, but is Amber dating Travis?  He has his arm around her.

Me: No, no, no.  Travis is just really friendly like that.  (Travis just took me to dinner last week - he's just that way)

Elton: Is Amber dating anyone?

Me: Nope.

Elton: I don't get that.  I mean I took her out months ago, and it just wasn't going to work out, but I wouldn't mind asking her out again.

Me: What about you and Tai?  What's going on there?

Elton: What do you mean?

Me: Sometimes I sense that something is there...

Elton: Are you asking for yourself or someone else?

Me: Just me.  Nobody else has brought it up.

Elton: Um, I liked her, I took her out a while ago, but we're just friends.  We talk about other dates.  We're oatmeal buddies.

Me: I did hear about the oatmeal.

Elton: Yeah, we're just friends, though.  There are a few girls in the ward I'd like to ask out.

Me: Like who?

Elton: Dionne is cute.  I don't know.  I would ask out Amber again, maybe.

Me: Cool, yeah, cute girls!

(Some time goes by while we are paying attention to other things)

Elton: There's actually one other girl I know I'd have fun with...

Me: Yeah, who?

Elton:  (turns away shyly, huge grin, turns back) ... Lindsey.

I shoved him.

Elton: Seriously, I've been wanting to ask you out for a while now.  What do you think?

Me: Sure, that'd be fun.

Elton: OK!  I will plan it, I will pay for it, and it will be paired off.

Me: Sooooo, a real date.  Gotcha.

Wait, what?!  This was supposed to be the "find out what Elton thinks about Tai" conversation... how did I end up with a date invite?!  And honestly, what kind of girl would I be if I called up Tai and said, "Hey!! I talked to Elton for you!  He's not interested in you, but he did ask ME out."  WHAT?!  I'm not that girl, and Elton and I are just friends, and Tai is freaking phenomenal, so... she was a champ about it and laughed with me a lot while I told her the story.  She told me that she didn't think she was interested, which is why she wanted to find out if he was, so she could know how to act.  What a situation.  I actually doubt our date will happen.  He is the most ridiculous flirty spaz ever.  He is super talented, brilliant, and kind, though.  He has told me multiple times how beautiful I am, or just a text saying I'm cute, but because he's Elton, I have never thought twice about it.  He's just that way.  He even was flirting with Dionne the same night he asked me out.  So, don't get too excited.  We are just good friends!

A Beautiful Mind

Okay, confession time.

I have some pretty abnormal, ridiculous, and irrational fears.  The movie "A Beautiful Mind" freaked me out.  It was, however, Russell Crowe's best work.  "THIS I SWEAR BY THE STARRRS!"  (shudder)  -

I recently watched it again, by myself, in the dark.  That was dumb.

What if....

1. I have Schizophrenia and don't know it, because I only remember this side of myself?

2. Down the road, someone enters my life, and I later find out that I made up the whole thing???

3. I am actually a little mentally handicapped and everyone is too nice to tell me - and everyone feels sorry for me?

4. I go crazy later in life and do horrible things without knowing it?

5. I think about this so much and end up giving myself these problems psychosomatically?


My mom reminded me that I wouldn't have a steady job if any of these happened to be true, and that someone would have at least made a comment to their validity already in my life.  She is the best.

I also have a fear of rubber bands snapping and balloons that could pop near me.  Like crazy fear.  Like - crazy.  See?  I could be CRAZY!

So, I just want to know - what are some things you are afraid of that others may think are silly?

Spiders are a given.

Go.

Tribute to Holland

Holla-girl, I miss you.  Thank you for all the laughs.  I am sharing some of my favorite photos of you.  I will always treasure our time together.  My favorite face you made was when you would get so excited about something, you would open your mouth as wide as you could and basically shake with excitement (see the pic with the toy gun).  It is the funniest thing.  I am grateful for the Plan of Salvation and the knowledge that families are forever.  Your sweet parents will hold you in their arms again.  You are free from the bodily pain you experienced for the past 14-15 months.  You will continue to do great things.  Love you, love you, love you!

Therapeutic Thursday

I felt like I hadn't had much to blog about recently, so I've been struggling to come up with a post.  Now I can't stop typing!  I will give you a quick run-down, then share a therapeutic embarrassing moment to at least get some laughs going since this blog has been so dormant.

1. My nephews Sam and Ben came to Utah for most of July.  They stayed with their other grandparents and I got to see them a few times.  We went to Despicable Me 2, Nickel City, and Oma's.  I was actually surprised when I offered to buy ice cream or Del Taco and they were like, "Nah, we're good."  What kid turns those down?  Skinny kids, I guess.  Interesting.

2. My sinuses decided they HATE me and created a very unpleasant quality of living for the past couple weeks.  The infection was way overly dramatic, and I think my sinuses need to grow up and stop throwing these tantrums.  That Amoxicillin showed 'em.  It was really a gross and miserable time for me.  Very traumatic.

3. I started giving plasma for some extra cash.  The first time was less than wonderful.  They had to keep moving the needle because my vein needs to grow up and stop throwing these tantrums.  We only pick on the right arm now.  I even started to pass out that first time and they had to rush over with a capri sun (cherry-flavored... why does God hate me?) and an ice pack.  Those of you who have ever met me even once know how much I am always hot and wanting to move to the Arctic Circle (yummm Arctic Circle shakes... mmm).  Well, when I give plasma, I am the only one in the room who is shivering so violently, people stare.  I started bringing an afghan.  People stare at that too.  It's awesome.  The money is awesome!!  My sinuses have caused me financial stress since I can't give plasma with an infection and while on antibiotics.  Next week, however, I'm looking forward to some serious blood money.

4. My brother and his lovely wife surprised me with a visit this week!  We have been hanging out with her family (since I'm the only Andersen left in Utah - Heather moved to Moscow, Idaho by my parents).  I love her family, and it has been an awesome few days.  We went to Happy Sumo for dinner the first night.  Seaweed triggers my gag reflex.  If you've had sushi with me (aka Andj and my family), you have seen me throw up.  Sorry.  I planned to get a tempura plate, but the special rolls were 1/2 price... so I asked the waitress if there were any rolls without seaweed.  She said no, but that they could wrap it in "soy paper" instead.  Wow, sounds amazingly scrumptious.  I'll have that.  Well, I did, and guess what, world - you win.  I LOVED IT!!!  I am SO cultured now.  I could do sushi like that ANY TIME.  I ordered a second roll.  It was... a... great night.  We then went to a movie and Yogurtland and talked.  I love family!  The second night, we had a BBQ at her parents' house and it was bomb dot com.  I even liked the ribs.  I know.... my palate is really growing up (take a tip, sinuses and veins).

5. While at the BBQ, I got a call from cousin Mike (living at and taking care of the yellow house with his lovely wife Heather [yeah I'm surrounded by Heathers]).  He said, "Hey your nephew is here."  I figured Sam must have wandered over to the house from his grandparents' (they live on our block), so I said, "Oh, okay..." then remembered he and Ben went home last week... "wait... what???"  Apparently, nobody mentioned ETHAN was visiting from Boston!  He was staying with his grandparents who also live on our block.  I know - Spencer really branched out when he married a girl who lived 5-10 miles away in exotic Provo.  So, we headed to the yellow house to say hi.  We teased/asked him about his girly-girl Grace for probably 10 minutes and had fun while he played Zelda and occasionally answered our questions.  Ah, adolescence.  Love that kid.

6. I am the choir director and chorister in my ward.  Not the first time - and I'm positive it won't be the last.

OK, now that you're up-to-date on my life whether you wanted to be or not, I will share an embarrassing story from my college days.  I think it is so great to laugh at ourselves.  I might make Therapeutic Thursdays a tradition.  We'll see.  I'm about as good at keeping up a blog as I am at getting Star Wars references.

So, when I lived in the Colony (circa January 2005), BYU campus was a frozen tundra.  You watched people fall on their butts every single day on campus.  I even joined them a time or two.  I don't know if you know this, but I'm pretty good at not falling down ever.  I am not clumsy at all.  Wait... nope.

I was walking home from school with extreme caution and with a major cold, when I noticed an attractive, strapping lad walking behind me.  Basically my thought process was, "Oh he's cute.  Don't slip.  Don't slip.  Don't slip.  Don't slip.  Don't slip.  Whoaaaa that was close.... don't slip!"  Well, I did.

That's not even the embarrassing part.  I actually caught myself before I fell!  SUCCESS!  I knew how stupid I looked, though, and realized I had to ease the tension by making a joke about it to this attractive boy.  "Man, it sure is... slick.... these days."  Eating out of the palm or your hand, Linz.  How are you not married?

That's not even the embarrassing part, either.  He laughed.  A lot.  Then, he ran to catch up with me and talk the rest of the way.  SO cute.  We made small talk and got to know each other a bit.  He lived in Santa Barbara Condos.  He was so cute.  Man.

I was looking straight forward when he cracked a joke and turned to gauge my reaction.

I laughed so hard, my cold decided I had had enough fun for one day, and a huge snot bubble popped out my nose.  I knew he was looking right at my face.

I sniffed it back in and kept talking like nothing happened.  I was mortified.  He took off for Santa Barbara.

The end.

One of THOSE days

This post is the exact opposite of my last post.

I am not one for complaining on my blog, unless it involves a funny story like the enchilada massacre.

Well, do you ever have one of those days where you think that the only thing you can/want to do is curl up in a ball and close your eyes and generally stop existing?

I'm not suicidal.

But today comes close.

1. I am dog-sitting in Orem and packed a suitcase yesterday.  I work at the temple RIGHT after work today, so I packed my black skirt for today's outfit.  Said skirt apparently has a huge run up the butt, and wouldn't be really noticeable with a black slip underneath.  I forgot that slip.

2. I opted for pants and will have to leave work early to change in time for my temple shift.

3. Girl stuff - sorry male readers.

4. I feel like there is a torpedo in my stomach.

5. I broke out in zits and a cold sore.

6. My allergy shots have worn off and my eyes burn and my nose runs.

7. I'm tired.

8.  Poli REFUSED to poop because the grass was wet.

9.  He will probably poop in the house before I can let him out again.

10. I have to leave work even earlier so I can make sure to let him out before we have an enchilada-massacre-all-over-the-carpet-like accident.

11. Since the sprinklers were on in the backyard, I took Poli on a leash into the front yard to see if he would go there.  He didn't.

12. However, I did come across a giant ant infestation covering the entire width of our front porch.

13. I poured the rest of my mom's Costco-sized bag of baking soda over the ants and now have to reimburse her when she comes to town.

14. I didn't have time to eat breakfast.

15. I got stuck in traffic.

16. I forgot my watch and earrings.

17. I'm at work.

18. It's only 8:42am.

22 Benefits of Being Lindsey

I keep meanly glaring at this Pinterest post on my feed called, "22 Benefits of Being Married" - and decided to replace my jealousy with gratitude.  So, I'm making my own list.  22 Benefits of Being Me.  I am not self-obsessed.  I am just trying to count my blessings.  Savvy?

For those of you fortunate enough to be familiar with Parks and Recreation, this is the attitude I need to adopt:

1. I have the best family ever.

2. I am employed and have great benefits and unlimited sick time.

3. Though I'm not yet married, being single totally has its perks.  

4. I have an amazing hairdresser and just got a wicked fun new 'do.

Before and After (yes these were taken in my work restroom so people didn't think I was obsessed with myself and saw me taking selfies - deal with it) - 

5. I can travel.

6. I have a degree from a great university.

7. I paid off my car.

8. I moved into an awesome condo and am surrounded by fellow older singles.

9. I laugh at everything.  Every day.

10. I can out-quote almost any normal person when it comes to movies.

11. My new condo has a maid service once a month.

12. I have the knowledge of the gospel.

13. I have green eyes.

14. I may not be able to run a mile, decorate a home, paint a landscape, draw a correct stick figure, or curl my tongue, but hey - I am pretty musical, and I love music.

15. I totally fixed my own headlight and saved tons of $$$$$$$ - Head and Mike helped with tools.  This is how I felt afterward:

16. I can follow a recipe and produce delicious results.

17. I am not drama.  Girls who say those words usually are, and I recognize that.  I try to not be contentious or overstep boundaries.

18. I have a very comfortable life and realize that I enjoy a ton more than those with less fortunate circumstances.

19. I can help others.  I got seven mosquito bites in a row on my arm while weeding for someone who needed it with my Relief Society sistahs.  I can donate funds to good causes.  I have the means and ability to help lift others' burdens.  I am so very grateful for that.

20. I have amazing friends, and we stay friends.

21. I am a Daughter of God.

22. To sum it all up, I know I have a great life.  I know I want it to be different in many ways, but for this last reason, I'm going to just say that I have faith and hope and a testimony in my life now and my life yet to come.

P.S. If you want to feel good about yourself, you should probably take after Jessica, and do these daily affirmations in the mirror: