Does anyone check this anymore?

I cannot believe I haven't blogged in 11 months.  It was a busy and incredible year with a lot of growing and improvement.  I doubt anyone even checks this, but if you do, drop a comment and say hi.  Maybe that'll motivate me to post more.  Ready for yet another big update post?  No? Me neither.  Here we go.

1. Roommate Changes

Becky got MARRIED!  She is stunning and was a beautiful bride.  We had her dress custom-made and it turned out wonderfully. 

My mom and I drove to Colorado for the second reception as well. It was a great road trip and we had a blast. 

The day Becky got married, Amber moved in!

Amber is so kind and clean and organized. She is a great roommate!  We have had many many deep conversations and get along great.  We even got to meet Lil' Sebastian at the Harvest Festival!!

2. Travel!!

I got to go on several awesome vacations in the past year.  I visited Heather Jolley in NJ to help her when they first moved there and Daniel had to take a work trip. Per usual, we laughed until we cried.  I fell in love with Morristown and the area.  So charming. I took the red-eye to NYC and had to snap a pic in front of Madison Square Garden for all my social media paparazzi. They are so annoying always wanting pics of my glorious face.  It's like... let me live my life in peace, people.

The next trip was back to NJ/NYC and Boston for a solid 10 days!  We got to see Ethan get his Eagle Scout and Laura get baptized.  I went on three dates that trip.  Never a dull moment.  I shall outline them for you here:

• The setup by Heather J. numbero uno: I had teased her that previous trip about a guy I saw in her ward who I would obviously need to date and marry. I said he looked like the kind of guy who's really into swords.  I was correct.  But... sweet Daniel decided to take it upon himself to inform said swordsman that Heather wanted to set us up.  We talked over dessert and he showed me his Star Wars tattoos.  And I learned all about Freemasonry.  And we aren't going to be getting married.
• The setup by Heather J. nummer zwei: When Heather told her friends in NJ about this plan to set me up with the sweet swordsman and how we knew it probably wouldn't go well, they begged her to let them set me up with their brother too because they wanted "more normal people" in their family.  This sweet boy called me and set up a whole Memorial Day date where we toured historic sites and walked for hours. He even printed me out a walking tour guidebook at Staples while I waited. It was so sweet and I had a good time!  He did put my straw wrapper in his pants pocket while we were eating breakfast, and I knew we probably weren't going to get married either.  I never heard from him again.
• The friend date in Boston: One of my best guy friends all growing up, Evan, lives in Boston now.  He took me on the most romantic non-date of my life.  We walked through a nature preserve, got caught under a giant tree in the rain, and he made me close my eyes until we got to the top of a Rapunzel tower where he could see my reaction to the view for the first time.  My knees buckled. It was astounding.  I made a joke about making out, but he wasn't into it. I was okay with that.  Friends forever.  We also will not be getting married.

The next trip was to Colorado for Becky's second reception.

The next trip was to San Jose for my bday and General Conference.  I hung out with my mom, my brother, my nephews, and my dad for a couple days and it was such a blast.  Just what I wanted for my birthday. We even go to tour the Winchester Mansion. That place is jacked up.

The next trip was to San Jose again for Thanksgiving!  We shopped, ate, saw movies, and played Jackbox Games.  My parents had a guest over from their ward who is in his 50s.  We all noticed he thought something could happen between me and him. We will NOT be getting married.  Period.

We completed a holiday puzzle, though, and that was great.

The next trip was to Boston again for CHRISTMAS!  It was so magical and wintry and snowy and frigid.  We had an absolute ball.  It was a lot of people in one house for 8 days, but we loved it.  I think Alexa is confused by how many voices yelled at her to turn on the Greatest Showman soundtrack, but she seemed to keep up well.  She was the 14th voice in the house.

 

3. Preparing for Marriage

Guys. I learned how to unclog my kitchen sink.  And I learned how to fold a fitted sheet.  I'm officially ready.  Now to find the man that WILL marry me.

4. CHOIR

In June, I went to a concert that basically changed my life. My friend Kayla is in a choir called Millennial Choirs and Orchestras. She invited me to the free concert at the Tabernacle in SLC. I flipping bawled through the entire thing and knew I needed to join it.  The music was so powerful, the Spirit was so strong, and the talent was unrivaled.  I was way impressed and touched.  I didn't want to audition because I hadn't auditioned for any choirs since college, and I didn't make the choir back then.  I don't want to stand under hot lights and force my voice into sounds I don't naturally sing.  But I couldn't shake the feeling to audition.  A little while later, Kayla sent me an email saying, "Just in case you want to audition, here's the info." I can take a hint. Sometimes.  So I auditioned, got a First Soprano spot, and have been singing my heart out since September.  Oh my gosh. I love it so much. It is so fulfilling.  I don't even mind forcing my voice into unnatural tones.  I absolutely am elated to be with MCO.  My mom and my brother both flew out for my Christmas concert! Several friends bought tickets, too. I am so grateful for all of them. It was seriously the bomb.

5. The Back-and-Forth Guy

I definitely have a thing for this guy. Or maybe I don't. Or maybe I do. It basically changes every day.  I think it does for him as well.  He sometimes acts very interested (he even asked me to dinner), and he sometimes literally gives me the cold shoulder and won't talk to me for weeks.  He's a conundrum.  Some days I just think I'd be the luckiest girl in the world if he were to be interested. Some days I can't stand him.  I guess time will tell.  He's pretty amazing.  Sometimes.

I'll keep you posted.

Changes upon Changes

I have let the ol' blog sit for several months, sorry!!  Here is one of those ridiculous epic update blogposts I never read, since there have been so many updates on my life in the past six months!

1. Oma.

Our dear German grandmother passed away in December.  If you've ever heard stories or talked to her, you know what a true gem Margot is.  We have been grieving her death for a year now, since we truly thought it was going to happen January 2016.  She sure showed us. We're glad she did.  This blog is usually for humor purposes, but I'll get real with you for a bit.

I got to be at her side several hours on her final night of mortality.  I sang her German Christmas carols while she fitfully slept and snored.  She hadn't been awake for a few days, and we knew she was departing soon.  I am so so grateful for that opportunity to be there.  It was tough to walk in the room and see the skinniest old woman I almost didn't recognize.  The previous time I saw her was right before Thanksgiving, and she was eating and happy to see me and Tabitha.  In just a few weeks, she had lost so much weight and life.  I was very emotional to see her in that state.  Aunt Chris came to spend the night so Oma wouldn't be alone, and I gathered my stuff and left after having been there from the moment I got off work.  Oma passed only 4 hours later, around 2:30am.  It was peaceful and she didn't fight it.  Around 5am, I woke up, checked my phone, and saw that it had happened.  I grabbed my car keys and headed up to Bel-Aire.  Oma and Chris were already gone, so I just took a few minutes and soaked up some final memories in her bedroom by myself.  The Spirit was very strong.  I knew the reunions with Opa/Bev, her parents, sister, and brother were very happy moments.  I knew it.  That meant a lot to me, since I witnessed some less-than-awesome moments of Bev and Oma together when Bev lived with us.  I know that they are happy to be reunited and full of love and respect.  I am truly grateful for that time I got to spend in her room feeling the Spirit.

Schlaf in Himmlischer Ruh.


2. Orem.

I moved!!  Late Spring 2016, I was thinking how happy I was in my place in Deer Haven in Provo.  I was so content.  I suddenly had a feeling - "What if God wanted me to move?" I brushed it off, thinking, nahhhhh.... I wouldn't be happy doing that. He knows that.  Then I thought, "What if that thought wasn't my own?" This was incredibly unsettling.  I asked God to help me figure out what was happening.  This was all in my car going 80 on the freeway.  I looked up at a billboard, which said, in block letters, kid you not, "MOVE".

I took that sign as a sign.

I still didn't feel great about it, so I told myself that if God wanted me to move, something would happen that would kind-of force my hand, and I stopped worrying.  However, over the next two or three months, I was able to really get used to the idea that it could be happening soon and that I'd actually be ok with it.  Then, in July, our landlord texted us that he was selling our condo, and we had about 30 days to get out.  Well, FINE.

The stress twitch in my eye started right away, and it hasn't stopped, even though I'm settled and it has been months.  Haha.... ha.

I looked for weeks for a place without any luck.  I needed to bring my piano and the roommate situation wasn't falling into place naturally.  My parents, BLESS THEM FOREVER I LOVE THEM OH MY WORD, called me and said, "Hey, we want a place to stay when we come to town. How about we buy a place and you live in it with a roommate."  Ding ding ding!!!!  Becky (my roommate at Deer Haven) agreed and we got to continue being roommates.  My parents came to town and we did a quick tour of the places I had picked out.  They both felt great about a condo in Pheasant Meadows by the golf course in Orem/Vineyard.  We purchased it and could move in September 15.  This gave us three weeks of being absolutely homeless since our landlord had already sold our place in Deer Haven.

I was so grateful to Andrea - bff all growing up - for letting me stay in her basement in Cedar Hills.  Gorgeous home, gorgeous family, gorgeous area.  I got to have my meals with the cutest kiddos and I loved being there.  Unfortunately, it was probably the toughest month of Andrea's life.  She lost her brother in an ice climbing accident in Pakistan.  I didn't know if I should stay to help around the house and help take care of things so she could be with her family more - or if I should leave so she wouldn't need to have a freaking squatter while she was grieving.  I was privileged to stay and help.  I played the piano at the funeral and it was a really really nice service.  Climb those heavenly peaks, Scott!

Yeah, that photo is pretty old...This was when we were wedding dress shopping for Andrea.

Becky and I got all moved in around the end of September.  Our place is nice and we are adjusting to the quieter atmosphere having only two of us!

With Becky at the Payson Temple Open House

3. New Ward

I joined the mid-singles ward (ages 31-45) in SW Orem.  I truly love it - though it's full of lots of characters.  That has been sooooo entertaining and so exhausting.  That (recent) sex offender who asked me out was the one I was most excited about - until that fun google search.  He never followed through on an actual date after asking me out, and I didn't bring it up again.  I have a good feeling about a few others... 

Oh, relax.  I haven't been asked out by anyone I want to go out with yet.

4. Electrolysis

My last post was about my life-changing electrolysis commencing.  I am still getting that done about every week or so and am loving it!!! Kim, my electrologist, is super fun to talk to, and I actually look forward to our sessions together, even though they hurt. A lot.  I even gave in and asked my doc for a Lidocaine prescription.  Don't judge.

5. Christmas and Thanksgiving and Jackbox Games

I got to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with my brother Evan, sister Heather, mom, dad, and nephews Sam and Ben.  Thanksgiving was in San Jose, and Christmas was in Orem at my new condo!  We had everyone staying there (including Heather's dogs) for a couple weeks, and it ROCKED.  I love having family together in one space.  Ok, ok, so there are some drawbacks and a lot of crying, but then we move on and hug and sure love being together.  I was introduced to Jackbox games by my friends in Deer Haven.  They are multi-player, single-room, online games played on your phone/tablet and centralized on your computer, which I hooked up to my brand new awesome large TV.  You compete against each other to be the wittiest, the smartest, and the most artistic.  Love love love these games.  We laugh and laugh for HOURS.  We also played unprecedented amounts of Scum, Hearts, Golf, etc with playing cards.  And Farkle.  Lots of farkle.

This pic encapsulates a lot of what our Christmas looked like. ♥

Some others from the holiday:

You should all get Jackbox Games.  This is from Drawful. Hilarious game.  It was a booger with legs, by the way.  That was my pictionary-like clue.  This is what I drew.  The other word bubbles are what people thought it could be.

Electrolysis. The beginning of the rest of my life.

You guys.

YOU GUYS!

Female facial hair is an issue for some of us.  I could go into a paragraph about how I'm being really vulnerable here and opening up and I would appreciate your support, but really I'm just going to say this instead: We all have hair.  I'm removing mine.  The end.  Also, nobody reads this anymore but my female friends and family.  And you have known my struggles.

When I was a teenager and hormonal facial hair started coming in, my mom and I looked into Laser Hair Removal and Electrolysis.  Electrolysis seemed like the seedy-back-room-practice of a former felon in a tattoo parlor, and scared us to death.  There was like ONE location that did it back then, and it was in those sketchy buildings behind the Sizzler in Orem.  No. Thank. You.  Laser was like the caviar of hair removal and all the rich/beautiful people were getting it done.  So, I set up an appointment in American Fork for a consultation.  I felt like a pampered kitten.  Maybe Princess Di would be there.

They took one look at my face and said, "Sorry, laser targets pigment, and your hair is too light.  Have a nice day."  I begged them to reconsider.  They said we could "try dyeing it" - but they said it still wouldn't work.  I pointed out the dark hairs.  "SEEEEE???!!!!"  and they responded "those are still reddish.  We need DARK hair."  I grabbed the laser machine and went on a rampage through the office.  No, I got in my car feeling very dejected, and drove home.

When I had my first kiss at 21, I knew I really needed to do something other than "trimming" my chin hair.  I started tweezing it.  It hurt at first, but I grew accustomed to it, and now hardly feel a thing when I tweeze.  After 10 years of plucking, the hair has gotten worse and worse and worse, to a point now where I'm spending 45 minutes or so A DAY taking care of it.  If I even let one day go, I look like I belong in the circus.  Guys.  It's bad.

Liz Lemon refers to her "growth" as Tom - as in Tom Selleck.  I appreciate her so much.  Thank you, 30 Rock, for making me feel normal!

SOOOOOO fast forward to 2016.  I started researching more about Electrolysis.  It is actually the ONLY FDA-approved method for PERMANENT hair removal - not even LASER can boast that.  I decided to reconsider the seedy-back-room idea, and look into who's offering this in Utah County.  There are many places offering it - many videos online showing how medically safe and careful the electrologists are, and other comforting information. I found the CUTEST girl named Megan.  She had great reviews.  I called her up!

She is booked through October.

So, she referred me to the lady who did her electrolysis as a teenager and is awesome... You guessed it.  The sketch location behind Sizzler. I called up Kim, and she got me in for a consultation for today.

It took me five minutes of walking around a WIG SHOP to find the location.  I am so glad there are options for cancer patients to find quality wigs locally, but a room full of mannequin heads staring at you when you know a needle is about to be inserted in your face is, for some reason, a bit unsettling.  Again, nothing against this shop.  I think it's wonderful.

The electrolysis place is literally - LITERALLY - in the BACK ROOM of this wig shop.  It is everything I thought it would be as a teenager.  One room with no windows, a chair, and a needle.  "You got this, Linz.  You aren't going to pass out.  You got this."

This is how it felt, only not so spacious:

My electrologist was way nice and we laughed about how scared I was.  She told me how her friend came in to have her pits done, and it took 10 minutes of physical fighting before she was allowed to proceed.  You just don't really know what to expect.  They're inserting a probe (needle) in your hair follicle (pore), then literally applying insane heat and electric current to create lye, kill the hair, and release it from the blood supply.  Then, they pull out the hair with tweezers and move on to the next one.  You need several treatments since your hair goes through phases, and this whole thing will take a year or longer of weekly to monthly treatments of 20-30 minutes each.  BUT IT'LL BE WORTH IT FOR ME!

She had me lie down, she turned on the spotlight, and we got to work.

My thoughts went like this.  Ahem, attention, please:

"YOU'RE OK LINZ YOU'RE OK YOU WON'T PASS OUT YOU'RE OK THIS IS OK YOU'RE OK"
"Oh, she finished one already?  That was nothing!  I could sleep through this!  Hallelujah!"
(Electrologist: Hmm that didn't work.  I'm going to turn it up.)
"What?  Ok.... that's ok.  Be a winner.  Be brave."
"Oh, still nothing.  Totally fine.  This is great."
(Electrologist: OK, still not working.  Turning it up more.)
"Ok, yeah, I can feel that nowwwwwOWWW that's really hot!"
(Electrologist: Ah!  There we go.)
"Oh man, yep, feeling it now.  But it's over in seconds.  We're good."
"Oh ouch that one really..."
"OH SON OF A"
"$%#@@*&;"
"Anyone who swears out loud during this is automatically forgiven.  This is for REAL."
"Good thing my curses are only in my heaadddDDDDDDANGIT THAT HURTS"
"God hears my thoughts... He totally knows what I just thoughttttttttttttttTTTTTTT #$@$@#$"
"ARE WE DONE YET"
"I AM A WARRIOR!"
"#$@#$@#"

Things I said out loud:

"Yeah, I felt the heat on that one."
"You know?  It isn't so bad.  It's just a couple seconds, and then it's over. It's very localized pain.  Very handle-able."
"Yeah, yank those guys out.  I want them GONE.  Do WHATEVER you need to do."
"MMMMMMMMmmmmmmm yepppppppp gahhhhhhhh" when she tried one on my upper lip, warning me it hurts a little more than the chin.

Then, we were done with session one, and I felt so great.  I am totally committed and ready to make this a priority!

I exited that place feeling like a freaking goddess of power and courage and strength.  And hairlessness. I was on the BIGGEST HIGH for a straight hour, at least.  I shall now refer to myself as Warrior White Beyonce.

You can get Lidocaine to numb your skin before treatments, but would Warrior White Beyonce need it?  

I included a before and after for you guys.  I feel like I could conquer the whole world.

Tilda Swinton, Buster Bluth, and Me

"My eye won't stop watering," I said to Elsie as we checked out "Chalk the Block" at the Riverwoods last Tuesday night.

"I can't come into work today.  I have pinkeye!" I said to Tracy on the phone Wednesday morning as I woke up crusted over.

"You're exactly what I'm looking for in a husband and have the perfect build for me.  Marry me," I said thought to myself as Dr. Hoyt examined my eye Wednesday morning.

"I don't think it's pinkeye, but take some antibiotic drops and see the ophthalmologist if it doesn't improve," said Dr. Future Husband after the examination where he was dangerously close to my face/lips.

"I had that once.  I tried an antibiotic drop for several weeks that did nothing, then I went back to my doctor.  He gave me a stronger antibiotic which cost a lot, but it cleared up right away," said Pres. Patterson Sunday morning during my temple recommend interview.

"I'm sorry you guys have to look at me today.  I tried to fly under the radar since this is the first time since I was 13 that I haven't worn makeup to church, but then they asked me to lead the music in Sacrament Meeting AND substitute teach Sunday School," I said to my class hiding below a halo of golden hair I hoped would draw the eye instead.

"I had that once.  I couldn't wear makeup for SIX MONTHS!" said Tacy at church.

"I NEED AN APPOINTMENT ASAP WITH AN OPHTHALMOLOGIST PLEASE!!!!" I kindly stated on the phone with Dr. Nelson's office Monday morning when they opened.

"Does this hurt?" asked Dr. Nelson as he pressed on the inside corner of my eye and my face erupted like Mount St. Freaking Helens this morning.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhh" I said back.

"Are you sure you want to purchase these meds?  They are $90," said the pharmacy tech this afternoon.

"YES"

This is my life.  I wear no makeup, my eye is swollen and red and just drips green or clear tears all day long, and I feel like Buster Bluth when he knows how people see his hook/hand.

Tilda Swinton has some extreme features, but she is who I picture when I see myself in the mirror these days:

I know you're trying to make a statement, TSwin, but we get it.  You think you're hot without makeup.  But for heaven's sake, put on some mascara.  You look SO much better with it.  You do have your own beauty, though, for sure.

I'm just a big fan of mascara.

See exhibit A:

The real me... ok... it's a little old:

Independence Day Vacation

It's kind of like "Christmas Vacation" the movie - only during the Summer, and a little more... Patriotic.  

You all know how much I love my family and visiting them.  Aunt Chris (bless her heart) agreed to come with me to drive to Pullman for the holiday weekend!  We saw this alpaca on the way up, and I had to get a pic.

Heather, Chris, my mom, my dad, and I got to go to movies, eat BBQ, chill at home, watch Brooklyn Nine Nine reruns, and enjoy each other's company.  Gosh dangit.  My mom is the best cook.  You heard me.  I cannot hide it any longer.

We saw "Inside Out" - ummm let me tell you something.  After a year of therapy for my mind deciding to hold a coup against me, this movie hit waaaaaay too close to home.  Have you seen it? GO NOW.  I sobbed and sobbed.  Then the movie ended, and I sobbed for another 1/2 hour.

SO GOOD and easy to relate to.  There were some even bigger themes I noticed that kids won't understand.  It was seriously wonderful.

We also saw Terminator.  A few less tears for this one, thankfully - though I didn't know what to expect since I also cried in the last one - "Terminator Salvation" - twice.

As ALWAYS happens when I get with my sis, we giggled until we cried. Wow - I'm sensing a theme here - maybe I should bring up my bawling habit in therapy... I am including pics of that laugh sesh here, as well as some other joys from the trip: 

BUT THE BIGGEST NEWS FROM THE WEEK WAS THAT SPENCER AND CAITLYN HAD THEIR BABY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WELCOME TO THE WORLD, EDEN ADAIR ANDERSEN!!!!!! 7/5/15!!!!!!!

I AM BLOWN AWAY BY HOW BEAUTIFUL AND SWEET SHE IS!!!  CAN'T WAIT TO HOLD HER AND KISS THOSE CHEEKS!

CONGRATULATIONS, SPENCELYN!!  LOVE YOU GUYS!