It has been so nice knowing you for 1.5 years. You helped me get through some tough times. You helped my food break down before my sick gallbladder had to work at it. You cost me a lot of money, but you were worth it. The times we shared... the treats we ate... those were good times.
I am sorry to inform you that based on some personal scientific trial food testing since losing my sick gallbladder, I have decided to go in a different direction. This is no reflection on your performance, though the past couple months you were cursed for not working when I'd wake up at 3am in pain about once a week.
When the doctor informed me these attacks were far more likely to be gallbladder-related, I knew some testing would need to occur. It turns out I do just fine without you now. It is just time for a reduction-in-force to cut costs.
I will never forget you, or the time I met you (see here).
Gelato and I have a date next week in Venice, so I hope you find another partner soon and wish you all the best in life.
Love, Lindsey "Lactose tolerant from age 26" Andersen
Monday, May 23, 2011
Dear Lactaid,
Posted by Lindsey at 8:25 AM
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3 comments:
Hooray for ice cream, yogurt, gelato, and Reed's Dairy chocolate milk! Enjoy Europe! We're not coming now as trip funds get to pay for Nick's gallbladder pictures :-) I'll save some photo money and we'll come next month and that way we'll get to see you, too!
This is funny. Congratulations on the break up!!
Yay!!! I'm so happy for you! I'm glad that you're not actually lactose intolerant, especially since the lactaid pills were only "partially" working for you. "If I were lactose intolerant, I'd probably kill myself" - life would be so sad without Coconut Joy ice cream :)
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