Questions.

Thoughts to ponder and stories for each:

1. What about me attracts teenage boys?  Remember the Brit?  This guy is a cowboy, but no less persistent and no older than the Brit was.  Hey world, just a reminder, I'm 28.  Here is the email I typed up to HJolley detailing my night... feel free to skip it since it is lonnnng.

This guy (we will call him Cowboy) is somewhere in the 18-20 years of age range.  I have known him for like 8 months or something, since he was hanging out at Institute with Evan C.  They're in the same singles ward.  He wears a cowboy hat every day.  He almost NEVER removes it.  He wears a huge belt buckle and cowboy boots.  His hair was grown out and curly with a beard when I first met him.  He was funny and nice and I was nice in return, but honestly never even thought he'd actually be interested or anything.  I mean... he knows I'm old.... anyway...

So we always say hi to each other and he has come with us to get shakes after institute, etc.  I doubt he has any friends outside this circle, but he isn't shy.  He is just kooky.  I saw him at the Halloween dance and he hugged me - picking me up in the process.  I was like WHOA - you must be incredibly strong, bro.  Eeek

So I haven't seen him since then that I can think of - maybe a few times - but he cut his hair short and shaved his beard.  I asked him if it was to prep for a mission and he said yeah.  I was super excited for him.

So last night, I go to institute, and I walk past him to Courtney and Marissa (didn't even see him) and he stops me and grabs my hand and is like "Hey!"  so I said "Hi!  You sitting by yourself?  Why don't you come sit with us?"

ABORT

WHY AM I STUPID

I WILL NO LONGER BE NICE TO ANYONE EVER AGAIN.  ISN'T WORTH IT.

So he came and sat with us, then wouldn't leave me alone the entire meeting.  He was going through funny internet pics he had saved to his iPod and he wouldn't even let me listen to the class - just wanted to show me all of them and tell me why he thinks they're funny.  I looked over at Courtney at one point like... make it stop... bowl... and she just smiled and understood.

So he shows me a pic of his newest guns and I pointed to a couple and said I had shot those before... ABORT 

WHY AM I STUPID

At one point, he took my phone out of my hand and added himself as my friend on facebook, then told me when he got home, he was going to stalk my profile.... EEEK

so after the class ended, we were getting up, and Ryan C came over and was talking to us.  Cowboy then invited me to go shooting... which is not a big deal to me.  STEVEHALL! (a coworker who I have fun with, who is a tad ridiculous and has a name similar to STEVE HOLT! from Arrested Development, so I call him STEVEHALL!) also asked me to go shooting yesterday, but I am busy this weekend and also YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, STEVE.  So I didn't think anything of it, but just brushed it off and tried to avoid having to answer.  I said, "HEy Ryan likes guns too!  Yeah, Ryan over here is a total enthusiast.  You guys should talk"

and I tried to leave.  bahaha.... but he followed, and then waited and talked to me while i was eating refreshments with marissa and courtney.  He kept showing us his battle wounds from his welding job and all the accidents he's been in.  I asked him what was on the radar mission-wise and he basically told me he doesn't think he'll go anymore.  For the record, neither did the Brit.

The director of the class told us all to have a great weekend and to "keep this one out of trouble" pointing to Cowboy.  Cowboy then blurted out, "Well I already laid the shooting date out on the table, but nobody wants to go with me!"  right in front of me. 

i was like oh craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap it's a date now???  how do I turn this poor kid down at institute in front of everyone??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So then I again brushed it off with saying "Well you're so dang accident-prone, why would we want to go shooting with you!?"  and he gave me a spiel on how gun safety is his number one priority and he would teach me correctly blah blah blah

We finally were leaving, and he walked us outside.  Marissa and Courtney said bye and walked off.  He grabbed my hand and said "Come shooting."

and iiiiiiiiiiiii died

and then i said "ok, well, i'm busy this weekend..."

and he said "Ok, well, I'll get my double-barrel back from my uncle next month, so, maybe then" and I said "I do like shooting, but i'm busy.  bye!" and went to my car and laughed/groaned.

Then he started writing me on fbook and i haven't responded.  That's the end of the Cowboy story. For now.

Another funny one:

I called marissa and courtney and we went to get shakes and stuff after this whole ordeal went down.  They laughed with me and felt sorry for me and we ate our feelings.  While we were sitting at a car stall at sonic, this guy comes up to my car... grungy looking, cigarette in his hand, and comes up to my door.

He looked at me and motioned to talk to him.  Now, you know that I have been freaked out lately of predators and stuff... so I said, "NOPE" and locked all my doors!  I was like "I don't know what you're playing here, but I'm not into it."  

the girls said "Lindsey, he's just trying to back up his truck and needs you to move."  I guess they had seen him coming, but I hadn't.  I was like OH my word and rolled down my window

"I'm sorry, you just need me to move?"

"Yes... did you just lock your doors?  Jeez"

"Um, well, I didn't know!  Ok, I'll move"

and i booked it out of there, crying from laughing so hard.  The guy probably thought all Utah Valley girls are snobs.  He was wearing a UofU sweatshirt.  Oh man.  I don't regret it, because I believe in "better safe than sorry" but i was pretty embarrassed and couldn't stop laughing the whole drive home.  

2. Am I turning into one of those self-defense fanatics who I always thought were a little butch? 

Refer to the end of that email.  Also, I recently posted in my ward facebook page about being careful of this guy who joined all the local singles ward pages and asks for rides from UVU.  I felt creeped out by it - then found out later that the cops are warning girls at BYU about this exact situation and about a sex offender using this to get naive girls... So, I am now the ward protector and the bishopric even had ME make an announcement in Relief Society about it.  

STEVEHALL! also invited me to get my concealed carry permit with him and a couple other coworkers, so I went to the class and am in the process.  Eek!  I've never been the type you'd expect to pack heat.  I never expected myself to be that person.  I still am not, really.  We'll see.  

Head and I also went and took an archery class for her Christmas present.  I saw it in July and bought it for Christmas knowing she would die of happiness.  So, I shot a bow and arrow last night.  I made it in the red zone of the target, so watch out pervs!  In the words of Art from the Burbs "We are out to get 'em.  We are out to get them."

3. Do I have a life?

Yesterday, I got a spam text.  I started texting back because of this hilarious prank I saw (sorry for the bad language if you click on that).  Usually spam texts come from a 5-digit computer number, but this was a legit cell phone in Denver.  I texted back for hours.  Still no response. Those five responses from me continued and continued ... and continued.  I'm not even going to blur that phone number for their privacy.  Have at it, folks.

Also, I am so hooked on TV shows - it's sad.  I get super upset if I haven't seen the latest episode or if there are re-runs.  My current lineup: The Mindy Project, Parks and Recreation, Once Upon a Time, and Modern Family.  I watch an episode a day of Parks and Rec on my lunch break.  I am currently re-watching the 2nd season.  Love.  My friend Alison and I may or may not be having a "TREAT YO-SELF" day soon.

4. Can I really survive in the real world?

This morning, I ran out of gas in my driveway.  It took an hour of sliding on pure ice (look up any Utah articles today and you will see freezing rain and a kajillion car accidents), maneuvering my mom's car out of the garage past mine, buying a gas can, breaking the spout, replacing it with an old one from our garage, sweating, and pouring gasoline all over myself and my driveway before I was finally able to leave for work.  Sweet fancy Moses!

5. When will I get my deductible back?

Over Christmas, my car was backed into.  I didn't want to worry about waiting for her insurance to offer to pay for stuff, so I had my insurance instigate and they will get the money from her insurance.  My car was in the shop for a couple weeks or so, and I got to drive a precious little Yaris.  I love my car for the most part, but it is getting old.  My first thought was, "Please be totaled.  Please be totaled."  However, I'm grateful that it wasn't and that I don't need to buy a new car.  But seriously... I could use that $500 back... any day now.

There's my update.  

Let's hope the Cowboy doesn't follow through.