The More Boys I Meet, the More I Love My Dog

Carrie Underwood said it best, for sure. However, I do have a silly crush right now, I will have to admit. This particular one got me thinking, Why do I always fall for the weird ones?

Since this blog is a secret to most people, I decided I could write this post and not offend anyone. Bless their hearts, everyone is a Child of God and I am trying to not be so judgmental. Having said that, I want to remember all the boys I have liked who possess certain attributes I would not normally find attractive. Why is it then, that I fall for them? I think everyone has their quirks, so maybe I just rationalize through that.

Now you probably know I am not a reader. I do not enjoy fiction. I will never pick up vampire romance novels or pop culture witchcraft books. In the past month or so, however, my group of friends has disbanded and I am bored and lonely all the time. My sister got the book Austenland for Christmas. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT! Soooo cute! A quick read, I laughed, cried, and smiled the whole way. If you are obsessed with Mr. Darcy or Jane Austen books at all, read it. It is hilarious. I AM JANE, the main character and narrator of Austenland. I related to her perfectly. Since she started each chapter with a brief synopsis of her "boyfriends" or any guy she ever liked, I decided to do the same on my blog.

1. Austin, age 6:
Austin Pratt was in my ward and Kindergarten class. Our moms took turns with the carpool. I wrote myself love notes from him and signed them with his name. My brothers found them. You can imagine the humiliation that ensued. Also, his beautiful mother, Kelley, teased him one day in the car when she mentioned he told her I was his girlfriend. Wow!!! I only needed to share him with one girl, too! Valerie was also his girlfriend. :( All I really remember about him was that he always looked like he had a red Kool-Aid mustache and dry lips. I think now that it was eczema. Gross. Good thing we didn't kiss! He moved, got into drugs (probably because he missed me so much), and I have never seen him since, but I heard he is doing better.

2. Zach, age 8:

Zachary Richardson lived across the street from me when we moved into the Orem house and I know he has forgotten all about this, but will probably hear about it from someone who finds this blog. Good thing he's married now with children! I would sit on my parents' balcony with Heather's My First Sony, my Aladdin tape, and sing "A Whole New World" to him, wherever he was. I sat like Jasmine on the magic carpet. Once, I saw him in a towel and he saw me and closed his blinds at lightening speed. When he was out of town, I jumped on my trampoline, proclaiming my love for him (since he was gone and wouldn't find out!). Luckily, the other neighbor boys heard and told him as soon as he got back. I remember walking into the science room, Adam Olsen greeting me with, "Lindsey, we hear you like Zach." "Umm, no, where would you get a crazy idea like that?" As I made my way across the room, I literally saw the rumor spread from child to child to child to Zach. Oops. I also rode my bike by his house, trying to show off by standing up on the pedals. What would happen if I slammed on the brakes right now? Yep. I dropped the bike like hotcakes, ran to my bathroom, and bawled my eyes out at the pain from hitting the bar with my... pelvis.... A girl in my ward delivered a love note to me, saying it was from Zach, and I read it over and over and over before realizing it was in her handwriting. We weren't friends after that. Zach soon moved away and was/is perfectly normal. I just tell this story because it's a funny one for me to remember.

3. (here's where we need to start masking the names a little bit) Rich (Darth Vader), age 13-16
He's the one in the rainbow hat. Yep. Hence, he made today's list.

Only Andrea will understand the meaning behind that nickname. Wow I really fell for this one. He sang in a band, wore clothespins in his hair during concerts, bleached his hair and wore it spiky or "whooshed, " and I couldn't have loved it more. I was crushing on this one for about three years, and let's just say, he was a little boy and not entirely honest with me or kind. Darth hacked into our email accounts, changed his hairstyle 5893839292 times, only talked with me over IM, even when sitting next to each other, and wore Dickies brand pants every day. We stopped speaking when he told me I was annoying and he never wanted to be my friend in the first place. I've met his wife and seen him a few times in the past few years.

4. Aaron Henrichsen, age 24 - "the Judge" as Spencer called him

This picture is of a LARP group....

Oh boy. Settlers of Catan addict, Halo addict, bald, Ultimate Frisbee enthusiast, deep-in-it gamer/role-player (Live-Action Role Playing, or LARP), heartbreaker to every girl in the ward (we are all still confused about that one...), and I honestly thought he was the "one". I was 18. Once I realized how much I did NOT want to be with him, he asked me out. The date was a carnival, where each couple competed for literally beans, through games such as 3-D Twister, bobbing for apples, and bean tossing. The beans were then used as auction currency, to purchase various items for use in the evening's finale, the covered egg drop. I saw him in the creamery a few years ago and he literally ran away from me and Heather Beck as we went up to say hi.

5. Nate, age 24 - "Wolf Shirt" was our nickname for himWe loved all the same things and went out several times in one week, and when I went to introduce him to my cousin Kiera, I said, "Oh, here he comes. Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh what is he wearing??? Oh Kiera, don't look. Let's not greet him... oh dang.... Oh Hi Nate!" When I teased him about the shirt when he wore it at least two more times, he left my apartment and went to his girlfriend's apartment, who I had not known about. She later moved into our ward and chastised how I lead music saying she couldn't "even feel the Spirit." She was also waiting in the car when he came over to pick up his Valentine from me. They dated for a year and then she went on a mission and I still see him every now and then, still single.

6. Danny Harding, age 24
Libertarian, and loved Ralph Nader as well. He honestly believed President Bush put bombs in the twin towers. Apparently a kissing slut, he made me feel really stupid when I thought we were exclusive. Saw each other at Macaroni Grill and he told me he "lost" my number and asked for it again, five months after we "dissolved". He works at Albertsons now at the Wells Fargo banking center and I walk by him without looking a few times a month. My mom talked to him and found out he's married. Awesome.

7. Lance, age 27
We're still friends, so I can't really make fun of him, but he definitely has his quirks, cannot play one single sport, is a WoW player (for those of you who are less-cultured, that stands for World of Warcraft), and writes comics for a living. He knows how dorky he is, and admits it regularly, so I can blog about it without feeling too guilty. Those of you who know me well know the whole story.

8. Mystery Man, age 25Canadian. That would suffice, but there's more...Martial Arts, wears a chain necklace, Canadian, likes UFC, picture of himself on facebook in the mirror with no shirt, Canadian. The problem with this one is... he makes me feel great about myself, which is a new one (see past 6 boys). It is more and more important to me as the days go on, so more quirks are allowed (I guess?). He also sings like Frank Sinatra and I melt when he smiles at me. He also gave me one of the best compliments ever... After he heard me sing in church, and we were chatting about losing at the dating game all the time, he said, "Please, all you have to do is sing to a guy, and you're in. By the way, you were amazing in your number on Sunday. I am musical, and it was good to hear real quality." Wow...

What attracts me to these guys?!?!!??!?!?