Va-Va-VOOMaceys

Wow. Funny experience last night.... So I went to Walgreens to check out some lip color. I never put color on my lips. I usually hate it. I never find a good color and I don't like how it looks or feels. I have heard some people comment that I should try a bright red and that I could pull it off. So, I wanted to experiment a little.

As I went up to the checkout stand, the man at the counter rang up my purchases and a manager came over and showed him when to take lunch breaks, how to sign out for the day, etc. I could tell he must be new. I saw his name tag which said, "Amber" and I laughed, deducing that he had to borrow a coworker's name tag for the day. I said, "Is your name really Amber?" with a grin on my face. "Yes. I am from different country." ohhhhhh

I was so flustered, I took the receipt I just signed and wanted to run out. He said, "Wait, I need dat, ma'am." I giggled uncomfortably and handed him the signed receipt and ran out.

"Ma'am, your bag!" Yeah... I am dumb. I had to come back and get my products.

I purchased three different lip colors with different effects (all-day lip color matte, gloss, and stain). I can return anything I don't like, so it was a harmless shopping spree. Wrong. I drove over to Maceys to buy some ice cream for the fam on my way home and decided to try the new color out before going in. Why? Because I am an idiot. I am not used to doing this... I wasn't thinking... Daylight Savings Time really does a number on my brain every year... So I put it on in the car, in the dark, with just my mirror lights. It looked great! Isn't that color lovely and bright? I liked it. I felt confident. I walked into Maceys with head held high.

I decided that since it was bright in the store, I should check out the bathroom mirror. As I passed a Hispanic man who stared me down, I felt like maybe it might be a little much. I walked into the bathroom and gasped. I should've taken a photo, but I wasn't thinking (DST again). Holy cow. Not bright. Not red. Dark, dark, purple/red lips and teeth. I looked absolutely genuinely hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing the rest of the night because guess what. It was the all-day lipcolor that will not come off for 16 hours. Why did I try that one first? Because I am a moron.

So, I just decided to do my shopping, act like I just came from a dance performance or theatrical play, and get it done and over with. As I walked up to the checkout line, I noticed Uncle Tom two customers up from me, buying his groceries. I yelled, "Tom!" and he looked at me for a minute then, loudly asked, "Hey sugar, what are you doin' tonight? Woooo!" I laughed and said, "Do NOT mention this lipstick! I was trying out a new color, it looks different on me than on the box, and I can't get it off!!!" He just kept going! "Wooo, hot stuff, hey good lookin', what are your plans?"

So there I was, getting hit on by a 50-year-old, with my Vaudeville lips in a grocery store. Then the sweet older woman in front of me turned to me and said something about how I'm not old enough to wear lipstick.

Was this really happening? Can't I just run out of here yet?

So then Tom holds up the line for a while and the older woman leaves, so I get to move up in line. The guy in front of me has just come from a run, obviously, and was in his workout clothes, with earphones in and iPod playing. I thought it was peculiar how his wallet, keys, and phone were all on the conveyor belt. What was he doing? Ohhhhhh... covering up what he was purchasing..... the few letters I could make out said TROJ..... AHHHHhhhh. Mr. embarrassed!

Tom finally gets done and the man in front of me removes his personal items, uncovering the scandalous purchase. The cashier then takes the ... box... and puts it on my ice cream, thinking we were together.

Okay, kids. Could this 15-minute visit get any more awkward??!?!

So he yells from his head-phoned-deafness "Ohhh those are SEPARATE!" I could also see an attempted laser tattoo removal on his arm. Wow! Exciting times in Orem, Utah!

So that was embarrassing

Finally, I got my purchases and headed home, where I laughed for a while. The lipcolor came off with eye makeup remover and I tried the two other colors, which I love. :)