Lindsey's How-To Guide, Part 4: How to Sprain Your Foot with the Most Possible Embarrassment

1. Go shopping with your sister and mother in Park City for Heather's birthday. (Happy Birthday Heather! 19 is fun! For Heather Beck's 19th, we went to Park City as well! HEATHER! Twilight Zone)
2. Get 10 FANTASTIC shirts and one fabulous necklace (which cost more than any of the shirts) from the Banana Republic Factory Outlet for $100 total. This will pretty much make your entire year, you'll be so excited.
3. This has nothing to do with anything, but soak in the hot tub at 10:30pm in the mountain air and just love being at Zermatt for the weekend. Thanks, Heather for having a bday.
   
4. Wear your new burnt orange top so you can show it off at FHE. It has a cowl-v-neck thing going on that really rocks and that is absolutely not shown off well enough in this photo that I sent HBeck that morning.
5. Spend an hour making the most fantastic 7-layer dip in the world. (Do not even try to argue with me on this one. There is no competition)
6. Drive to FHE, which will be a Cinco de Mayo party with the entire Singles Ward combined and their friends they bring along.
   
7. Let Ryan carry the dip for you and Lance carry the chips. This is muy importante.
8. Yell "Hey!" to everyone at the park, so they know you have arrived, in your burnt orange top, with two good looking guys.
9. Step in a puddle you assume is water.
10. It's not.
11. or maybe... It' snot.
12. More like sludge. More like Hexxus toxic sludge from Ferngully. Pure evil.
    
13. Slide across the puddle with your left foot.
    
14. Roll over your right foot.
15. Let out a very loud scream and flail your arms wildly in the air.
16. Land face-down on the cement.
17. All you really care about at this point is: A. Who saw that, B. Who heard that, and C. Is my shirt okay?????!!!!!
18. When Jon Fairbanks races over to help you up, check your shirt over and over and over and over, constantly checking the chest area (you never can see down there) and pulling it away from your body.
19. The shirt is FINE!!!! VICTORY!
20. Ouch. You realize now that your right foot is in a lot of pain.
21. Whew. You then realize Ryan was carrying the dip and it was unharmed.
22. Eat with your friends and laugh about what happened while waiting for the pain to die down. It always does when you twist those weak once-broken ankles.
23. Lance will invite you to go to the movies. You accept gladly for a night out on the town.
24. Dan Dan Superman will hug you a few times and you later find out he is the new Elders Quorum President. Sigh. OH GREAT NEWS! He was not there yet when you fell.
    
25. Go to the movie Wolverine with Lance and some other friends. Put your foot up on the seat to help ease the pain.
26. After the movie, you will realize that the pain has not subsided at all, but is constantly getting worse. You barely make it down the stairs after the movie.
27. Go to the doctor the next day when you literally cannot walk at all.
28. Your boss will sarcastically limp for a few days to make fun of the fact that you missed a whole day of work to go to the doctor. Hey, you enjoyed it.
    
29. The doctor will say "I don't think it's broken, but we'll x-ray it just in case". You reply, "Well, that's what they said last time, doc." HA. You showed him. Nope, no you didn't ... no broken bones... You did, however, tear the ligament that sits on the bones that control your toes. No wonder it hurts when you walk, but feels okay when you only step down on the heel.
    
30. All you need is a stupid ankle wrap for a few days and the pain will go away completely in about 3 weeks. Good thing you get to go to church with that on so everyone can be reminded of the incident. Good thing you painted your toenails so you could post the picture.