He just might not be into you if....

Okay, since the movie and book of "He's Just Not That Into You" use some pretty worldly suggestions (if he's not sleeping with you, if he's sleeping with someone else, etc), I decided to benefit my LDS single girlfriends by writing the book from a Mormon standpoint. I also decided to incorporate Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might Be a Redneck If..." into my post, to make it easily understandable.

I also will preface this by letting you know that I am taking every single one of these examples from my own personal life. These scenarios actually occurred, and you are getting them straight from the source. You will see how much guys really are not into me. HAha...

Let's have a contest to see who can list the most boys I am referring to here. Please do not comment about it for the world to see, just email me. :)

1. That boy in your Singles' Ward might not be into you if....
He holds your hand on a date and you've been out several times, you're soulmates, he compliments you all the time, but then holds the hand of a different girl on a different date the next day and marries her.

2. That boy who is your 7th roommate might not be into you if.....
He gets in tickle fights with you every night until 4am, grills you on what kind of mother you'll be and how many kids you want, then mentions Shelly is on his list of girls to date, then tells Sharon she's not pretty enough or book smart enough for him even though they're dating, and only asked you out ONCE, after a few other girls turned him down.

3. That boy who you went out with several times in one week might not be into you if....
he has a girlfriend.

4. On a side-note, that girlfriend might not be that into you if she tells you that you are horrible at leading the music in Sacrament Meeting.

5. That boy at work might not be into you if....
He sees you going to fill up your water bottle in the break room and you can count down the seconds before he'll show up so you two can talk and he can fill up his water bottle (even if it's not empty) every single time, stops at your desk to tell you what happened to him that day, chats online with you for hours and writes you notes during meetings, then doesn't call you when you give him your phone number when he quits.

6. That boy you met at a party might not be into you if....
You meet up for lunch every day on campus and start dating, kissing, holding hands, asking what to get each other for Christmas, and then tells you he doesn't want to be exclusive and you don't get the Christmas gift or go out with him again.

7. That boy you've been dating might not be into you if....
He hasn't kissed you or held your hand, won't hug you at the end of dates, you pick out his furniture, know things about him nobody else does, best friends, talk all day every day until you get together to do something, he calls you when he's traveling, forgets your birthday, makes you move over for another girl to sit by him on the couch, and tells you he's just not that into you.

8. That boy you rebounded on from #7 might not be that into you if....
You get pretty close, he tells #7 to treat you better and that what he did was wrong, wants to go to movies with you alone, then texts a girl 10 years his junior while on a date with you and disses your dog.

9. That boy you rebounded on from #8 might not be that into you if....
He tells you you're hot, that you have a singing voice to get to men's hearts, makes sure you'll be at activities before he goes, invites you to attend Temple Prep since that's where he goes for fun, invites himself over for Sunday dinner then says no when you invite him, leaves his jacket at your house after choir even though it's -35 degrees outside, comes back to get it that night, and STILL HAS NOT ASKED YOU OUT.

10. That boy you only refer to as a superhero might not be that into you if....
He invited you to a bonfire but had a girlfriend, escorted you to Relief Society, asked politely to sit with you in Sacrament Meeting, got a fortune cookie about the happiness he would find with you, compliments your voice after singing hymns and your prayer after offering the invocation, doesn't show up to volleyball after he mentioned he might show up, and STILL HAS NOT ASKED YOU OUT. GET OVER IT. He's not into you.



I know it all seems so crystal clear when you're looking at my problems. Let's see if you find similarities here to help you in your own quest to find the one guy who is worth it to you because he is TOTALLY into you. And girls remember, you are NOT the exception. You are the RULE.