Lindsey's How-To Guide, Part 3: How to Change a Flat Tire

1. Get a call from Brooke at 10:27pm on a Saturday night. She wants to hang out. Tell her you are tired but will watch a movie or something, if she wants to come over.
2. Watch Phantom of the Opera and rip it apart (the footsteps in the snow that are too close together for him to have been running, Raoul's hair being better than mine, the jester at the Masquerade, etc)
3. You will be joined by your brother, Spencer. This will be important.
4. Finish the movie at roughly 2am.
5. Say goodnight to Brooke.
6. Get a call from Brooke 10 seconds later. "Lindsey!! My car is making weird noises!! I think I have a flat tire! I'm coming back!"
7. Tell her your brother is a closet mechanic so it should be fine.
8. He will respond with, "Closet mechanic? What, like I'm gay?" (not that there's anything wrong with that...)
9. Run out into the rain, on all the fat, juicy worms. You will find one later as you remove your shoe in your bedroom and touch it on the side by accident.
10. Spencer will show you how to REPAIR, not REPLACE a flat tire!
11. He brings out a 3-ton jack. You joke that it could even lift you. You try this later and it works.
12. Have Brooke try it on you so you can say "Brooke jacked me up Saturday night."
13. Giggle uncontrollably and loudly without waking any neighbors, luckily.
14. Spencer brings the FLAT tire into the garage. You see a large screw, the crime perpetrator.
15. He removes the screw, then shoves a screwdriver into the hole to "make it bigger"
16. Uhhh... this will seem counter-intuitive. What do I know with my estrogen-based logic, anyway?
17. "You need a clean hole!" He puts a black rubber thingey resembling dyed dental cotton in the hole, middle first. Again, counter-intuitive.
18. He turns on his air compressor and you run upstairs to calm your parents down from the 2:30am heart attack they just had from waking up to that LOUD machine in the garage.
19. They are sound asleep and don't even hear you walk in. Whew.
20. He fills up the tire to the correct pressure and Boom! You're done!
21. He puts the tire back on and you drive around the block, "laughing all the way".
22. Brooke goes home. You go to bed at 3am. Remember, you need to wake up at 6am so you can help Tori with her musical number. Have fun.