Dear Ice Cream,

I miss you.

Love, Lindsey "Lactose Intolerant from age 25" Andersen


Yeah.



The past few months, I have been getting these sick spells where my stomach hurts so bad, I can hardly breathe or move. It feels like gas (ewww) but worse - and shoots pain up through my back and shoulders as well as the stomach. Worst ever. Kim told me that people with lactose intolerance have explained it like that to her before. There's no way I had that. I have enjoyed milk my whole life and ice cream is my #1 numero uno number one favorite food in the world. If I could only eat one food for the rest of my life, it would be ice cream.

Nevertheless, I realized that the last time I had the pain, it was after ice cream. I decided to try it out.

Saturday, Heather and I got some shakes and I ate a lot of it to make sure the test would work.

Yeaahhh.... sickest I have been. I rocked back and forth on my bed for about an hour just trying to breathe. It didn't make sense that I had lots of milk a couple days before and had not been sick though.... and I thought Lactose Intolerance was something you are born with.

This is from WebMD:
When lactose moves through the large intestine (colon) without being properly digested, it can cause uncomfortable symptoms such as gas, belly pain, and bloating. Some people with lactose intolerance cannot digest any milk products. Others can eat or drink small amounts of milk products or certain types of milk products without problems.
Lactose intolerance most commonly runs in families, and symptoms usually develop during the teen or adult years. Most people with this type of lactose intolerance can eat some milk or dairy products without problems.

YAY! That is such.... great news.
Fun times: The other night, I had all three of these products in my shopping basket when I came across a male, single coworker (the Dwight bobblehead thief) at Walmart. He looked and said, "Whatcha got there?" Yeah..... I laughed all the way to my car... and the next day. I am tempted to put some gas-x pills on his desk, but I'm secretly hoping he didn't see anything. The boxes were mostly face-down. ......Please oh please oh please oh please..... If he did, I will definitely leave some on his desk. That would be funny, no? How embarrassing....

A Hint of Posts to Come...

So, I went to Europe. I have a lot to blog about it, but do not have the pictures yet. The two on here were from my phone and are about as good as I have. As soon as I get the real ones, I will post about Romania, England, Christmas, etc.

Today, however, the newly ENGAGED HBeck and I made some top ten lists of our trip to Europe. I thought I'd share them so you can at least get some excitement for what's coming.

Top Ten Grossest Moments
10. Tight pants with a button-down fly that extended into the thigh region - on a man.
9. Tomato Slushee served on AirFrance.
8. Mincemeat Pie and all British food.
7. Lack of Paper Towels in the public restroom. Here, use this community towel. Yumm!
6. A man and woman frenching in front of my face as we were packed on the Tube in London. Even his approach was tongue-out.
5. Being hit on by married men.
4. Running over the head of a decapitated dog.
3. Being kissed on the cheek by a creep who wouldn't let go of my hand in Picadilly Circus... and him calling me "Lovely Lindsey"...
2. I will censor this, but it had to do with what we assumed Christmas Pudding and Jugs of Cream were.
1. The TV in the hotel. That is all I will say.

Top Ten Funniest Quotes
10. "I don't see row BB anywhere" - while at Les Miserables... "Lindsey??" - Heather, pointing to the three chairs on the side of the pit, up against the stage... labeled BB.
9. "Put some pants on!!!!" - when the outlet adapter popped and smoked and we were afraid sprinklers would go off and the staff would burst into our room... and the running around that ensued, plus putting the smoking adapter out the window, stubbing my toe and falling over my suitcase in the dark, and Heather jumping to the window - all in about 2.3 seconds.
8. "AHH! AHH! AHH! AHH! AHH!" - what was screamed when the TV was on.
7. "We are trying to get a hot porno film to come to the set soon. It's called 'On Top'." - Elena, from the studios we worked with.
6. "Are you still asleep? It's 1:30!" - my dad calling us when we had not realized how late we slept on one of our few London days.
5. "You want chickin in your other room?" - The heavily-accented front desk attendant. "Chicken?" - me.
4. "It's about a five-minute walk from here." or "It's about a 20-minute walk" Not once, when we heard those words, was our walk under 40 minutes or... three hours.
3. "Are threes good?" - Heather, to a little private school uniformed boy next to her on the tube, while reviewing his report card full of "3" marks.
2. "That's why I'm marrying Dan." - me. "Our driver?" - TC, talking about our middle-old-aged driver who looked like Boris the Butcher and smoked like a chimney. When we looked over at Dan, he looked up as if he heard nothing and it was pretty awkward the rest of the trip.
1. "I just have one request..." - Heather, while we were crowded in the elevator at the Starlight Suites with three married men... "...no kissing..." (looks of disgust) "...between the men." *To clarify, she did not mean that it was ok for other kissing to occur either. We each had our fair share of awkward.

Happiness, Handbags, H1N1, Hearing, Hospital, Halloween, and Houndstooth

Obviously my journal upkeep failures carried over into my older age. I have a LOT to blog about and just haven't wanted to start!

H:appiness
1. Boston/NYC - I made my annual trip to Boston in September. This time, though, I was lucky enough to have Carli and Denise with me! Denise wanted to visit Martha, our old Relief Society President, so when I told her that I go there at least each fall, she wanted to come along. The day we booked our tickets, Carli requested we go on a trip. I mentioned I had just purchased tix to Boston for 200 bucks and a few minutes later, she said, "Booked!" Good times. She then told me that she gets hotel deals in Times Square and that we should stay there one night. My answer? OF COURSE!!! I♥NY

I got to spend time with my awesome brother and his incredible family, walk the kids to school, help Ethan with his piano practicing, attend the temple, go to a RedSox game, become a human GPS the many times Carli and I got lost, use Ryan's GPS when he got back from DC, use his car the entire time, kill 10 spiders that showed up on the windshield in front of me throughout the week in said car (or make Carli kill them as I was going 80 on the freeway), walk the Freedom Trail, see the USS Constitution, walk around Salem during Halloween season, tour the Mayflower II, visit Plymouth Rock, hold a goat at Plimoth Plantation, eat lobster, play with my nieces and nephews, attend a tea party, and visit a farm. How blessed can one girl be?H:andbags
2. Friday-Saturday, Carli and I drove down to New York City for the night. We decided we didn't want to pay $60 to park in Manhattan and have to brave the traffic there. So, we decided to park at the closest train station and then take Public Transportation in. We drove into our selected site, the Bronx, and looked for the station based on our GPS. There was no station. In fact, if I had not sprained my ankle that morning running after the kids (of COURSE), and was not in a lot of pain, we would have left that place much, much sooner. I had to find a RiteAid to get an ace wrap and a bathroom (long drive) ASAP. Oh my soul. Never again. After being honked at, stared at, waited for at the front door by an employee, and realizing we were the only white people for miles... we pretty much said adieu to the Bronx for eternity. They didn't even have public restrooms and told me to try the laundromat down the street. I'll hold it, thanks.

The split-second decision to pay $60 for our lives and park in the city was the best one we ever made. I got to drive in Manhattan! I was a crazy NYC driver, cutting off cabs, nearly getting killed 49586949 times, and yelling at pedestrians. I loved it. First item of business after it took us an hour to go a mile? Check into the hotel. Second? Head out to Chinatown for handbags.

Bags purchased by Carli: 5
Bags purchased by Lindsey: 0
Stores entered: 3859606
Back rooms entered: 3859600
Hours spent: 5
Elevator rides with freaked-out Canadians: 1
Vans entered: 3
Close calls: 1 (chased out of the building when they thought the cops were there and running down flights of stairs with my sprained ankle and Asians yelling at me to hurry)

Saturday morning, we stood in line for the front-row tickets lottery for Wicked, but did not win. We stood in the cancellation line for a while and got FANTASTIC seats - 8th row or so! We had a couple hours. What should we do? Head to Chinatown.

Bags purchased by Carli: 0
Bags purchased by Lindsey: 2 (Fendi spy bag in mustard/brown and D&B zebra print)
Stores entered: 1
Back rooms entered: 1
Hours spent: 0.5
Elevator rides with freaked-out Canadians: 0
Vans entered: 0
Close calls: 0

A much, much, much better day. We then saw Wicked and got there literally 60 seconds before they shut the doors. Literally. My apologies to Carli, again, for the sprained ankle, my limping through times square in a mad rush with three handbags (my old one included) and a lettuce-wrapped Whopper Junior in my mouth and hand. There's a visual for ya. Our seats were freaking awesome and I kept saying, "I am just so happy right now." Great show.

Number of times I have seen Wicked in NYC: 2
Number of times I have cried from happiness while there: 2
Time it took us to get to the freeway from Manhattan: 3 minutes. Much easier than coming in.
Walking down 5th Avenue with H&M purchases in tow and browsing Saks: Priceless.
H:1N1
3. Unfortunately, that fun picture of us at the RedSox game while in Boston, turned into this:
This was especially fortunate, since I had a sore throat that day. We couldn't get off the bleachers because it was too crowded. So, we just had to stand there and get poured on. I knew I would get sick. We were flying home the next day on a plane with re-circulated air. Yay.....

I missed half a day of work that week from having such a nasty cold. I thought it was done for the month.

It wasn't.

Full-force a couple weeks later, another cold showed up. This one was BAD. Swine flu bad. I missed almost two weeks of work. Chills, cough, sore throat, achy body, sinus congestion, and fatigue. I missed out on the Halloween events I was soooooo looking forward to, including the ward corn maze (missed out last year because I didn't want to see Blanch) and Andrea's annual family party. I had to work one day, so the rules from HR were to wear a mask. Hence, the gorgeousness of this next photo:H:earing
4. Sunday night, my ear was so plugged up from my sinuses that it hurt. The worst pain I have ever had I think. I was sobbing from pain. Can't remember the last time I did that. I got a blessing from my dad and Uncle Tom and my mom took me to instacare. BOOOOOOOOOO on instacare. The "doctor" told me that the infection was from a q-tip, that I had a cold (not the flu), and that it would clear up in two days with some antibiotic drops in the outer ear. Sent me home quickly. Thankfully, the pain subsided (it shouldn't have at this point... I owe this to Divine Intervention) and I went home. My ear was still completely plugged two days later, so I called an Ear/Nose/Throat doctor and was able to get in that day after calling a couple different ones. ALWAYS go to a specialist if you have issues. That's my new mantra. They tested my hearing. The doctor told me I had lost 15% in my left ear, the clogged one. He also looked in there and said the infection was in the MIDDLE ear. He got me scheduled for surgery the next morning! Apparently, the infection was bad enough that it caused hearing loss and would not drain.

H:ospital
5. I checked in at 7:30am the next morning to the outpatient center and took a test......

I am NOT pregnant!!!!

Then, the anesthesiologist walked in to introduce himself. I am pretty sure he was 17 years old. My mom and I both looked at him like... you're going to do WHAT? Have you even graduated high school? He was perfect though. I didn't feel anything and was peacefully knocked out until recovery.

My mom got me stickers with Cinderella and Winnie the Pooh on them. See, this surgery is usually done on infants and children. Even the pamphlet they gave me the day before said I could bring my favorite toy or blanket. I seriously debated it.

What century is this?! Who loses hearing because of a cold? Helen Keller?

Am I 75 years old? You know what I have to tell people now? "Here, talk into my good ear." YEAH!

Isn't that hysterical?

Hopefully my hearing will completely return when the tube falls out and the hole in my eardrum closes up.

H:alloween
6. I used the instacare mask to my advantage when I wanted to attend my ward costume party and not get anyone else sick. I used my mom's scrubs and went as a nurse! Heather was me! Everyone loved it.

For work, I was all better by Friday the 30th (minus the hearing loss), and dressed up as a nerd for the costume party.
The girls and I went to lunch in costume for my birthday, which was two months ago, but we never celebrated. The immigrant working at the Mexican restaurant offered to take a picture of me topless. Enough said.

Poli was a football player. Enough said.
H:oundstooth
7. I got this dress from Shabby Apple and absolutely love it! Kim took this pic at our company holiday meeting on Monday. Nobody asked me to unbutton it for photos, so I guess we're good now! No more creeps!


Thanks for reading this far. I hope you enjoyed my Hecka Hot Happenings post. Holla!

Bygone Blogging - Exclamation Points and Training Bras

Here are the last few scans from my first journal... my favorite is the full-page description of my cowgirl outfit. Other points to notice: the ambiguous and creepy ending of the first page, my love for baseball even though I had no idea what it was, mnemonic devices for remembering names, sloth-like smiley faces, showing off some skin, and fulfilling my vain desires by mentioning how much my (dad's) hat cost. Enjoy!


6-21-94
This morning I had to go to piano lessons. YUCK! I HATE piano lessons. I'm playing Appregios. I don't know how to spell it. I don't even know if that's the word! In Beyer, my goal is to finish Beyer by the end of summer. I'm playing Sonata KR5 or somthing like that. I'm also playing "A Child's Prayer." that's a primary song. Well, I'm really happy. I'm out of school!!!!! Out of fourth grade!!!!! Horray!!!!! Horray!!!!! I miss my teacher though. her name is Cindy Jaramillo. Do 'ya think that's hard to remember? It's not! Just remember Caramillo, the candy bar. I'm going into fifth grade!!!!! I can't wait!!!!! All though I get the most mean, strict, I don't like her, Mrs. Foster. We played night games today. Or should I say tonight?

6-22-94
I have these one summer Scera tickets. They go to some movies that i've already seen. Well, some of them. They're movie tickets. I go sometimes with my friend, Millie. If I don't, then she's on a trip. The tickets are good only on Wednesdays, at ten o'clock, A.M. We've already seen, Dennis the Menace, Once Apon a Forest, Free Willy, and today we saw the Sandlot. I love that show! And that taller, greatest baseball player on the team, Benny, is so dang CUTE!!!!!!!!!! Base ball is my favorite sport, you know. Even though I'm not that good at it. Oh, by the way, I made it into BYU Children's chior. But, they pushed too hard. So, I quit. And then, a couple days ago, I saw that they were going to all these places in the world. The're going to sing in one of the biggest parades in the world! The're going to perform with the great Hong Kong choir. The're becoming more famous, and the're moving up to better things! But, hey, My mom wouldn't let me quit piano, and I loved Sunshine Generation. I just had too many things to do. We played night games today. All we played was 52 Bonkers. Then, every body had to go in. Except, Spencer and I. Well, it's 11:40. I'm so TIRED!!!!!!!!!! So that's a rap! G'bye!!

6-23-94
Today, I didn't get dressed 'til' 2:30pm. I wore a jean skirt' with ruffles. I wore a white leather belt. I wore tight shorts under my skirt that were pretty long. So, I just rolled them up. I wore a white t-shirt. It was pretty see-through, so I had to wear a bra. I wore a jean vest that I got for Christmas. It is supposed to have flowers sewn on to it. But, unfortunately, most of them fell off. Sorry that this isn't a to interesting subject, but it's all that I could think of. It has a big, round white butten. It has a white trim. I wore a dark grey, big, cute, 200.00 hat. It was a cowboy hat. It has a black band around it. It's really nice. We're going camping tomorrow so I'm not going to be able to write in this. So, I'll miss a day or two. Bye!

P.S. I didn't write again for months and months. Certainly I could have shared more outfits with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So sad we missed out on that.

Bygone Blogging - Timp Cave

If you want to see an actual picture of me at this age, check the last post! I like my attempts at metaphors, drawings, and flirt-dodging in this next entry!


6-20-94

It's been a long time scince I've wroten in my journal. I've always been to tired. If that wasn't the case then I probbably didn't remember to. If that wasn't the case I probbably just didn't feel up to it. Or I probbably didn't want to. But, here I go. I am so tired! I did so many tiring things today! First, my dad, my mom, Evan, Heather, and I went hiking up to timp cave. But, we knew that Heather wouldn't be able to reach it. It is an hour long hike, you know. Second of all, I had sing and dance today. Boy, was it tiring! I had to work, work, WORK!!! When I came home, I was very tired. Third of all, I had to go UP to the park with Heather and Bones. Bones is my families dalmation. -->
(Continuing)
Sorry that that Mt. Tipanogas cave didn't make sense. Here's the rest. All of us were sweating like race horses. But, we made it half-way! Then we came back down. I got an ice cream cone and Heather got a root beer when we were back down. We were going to go camping tonight. But,
NO!!
:(
BOO HOO!

Bones drove me NUTS at the park. There was a kid there who drove me nuts too. All he did was TALK to me!

Bygone Blogging

Welcome to the start of a new series, "Bygone Blogging" - which should be a fun treat for myself, even if nobody else likes it.

Since blogging had not been introduced to the world until I was older, I decided to scan and post some old journal entries from when I was a kid. Journaling on paper is how we used to do it, kids! Crazy! So, for my (and hopefully your) enjoyment, here is the first post of the series:

1-10-94 The Very First Entry of my Very First Journal

I had lot's of fun today. In school, we have a new system. It's in lunch. Instead of using a ticket, all you have to do is to type in your number and say your name. It's really fun. In singing and dancing lessons, we are learning some new songs for our new performance. My mom, Eva Maria Andersen, signed me up for the BYU Children's chior. I'm going to an appointment on Wednesday, January 12, 1994. I'm really excited. This will be a good experience for me. I might even meet some new friends! I have a crush on a boy named Zach. He is so cute. Last night, I was on my balcony singing with my cousin, Lisa. Zach lives across from me and saw me and my cousin. I saw him. I waved at him. He was in his room. He waved back.

(Age 9)


1-11-94

Today, when I went to school, I had a ponytail in my hair. I could not stand it. I took it out. I had piano lessons today. It really went good. I was doing the wrong thing in Beyer. Beyer is the name of one of my piano books. I have Hanon, Beyer, and pieces on just plain paper. My mom and I went shopping today. I also showed her some tricks on some bars when we went to my school playground. Something BAD is happening at school. We have Mr. McCardy for a subsitute in social studies. Every body in the school hates him. All he talks about is trust. Trust, trust, trust, trust is all he can say it seems like. I am still really excited about BYU. I have an appointment tomorrow for an audition.

Quarter of a Century

I. Am. Twenty-five.

25 things I love/hate about being 25:

1. Feeling like I can wear a French Twist and look classy, not strange.
2. Being single.
3. I still get to live with my parents.
4. I live with my parents.
5. I drive a stylish Malibu.
6. At my age, and with a college degree, shouldn't I be driving a Porsche? Actually... at my age... maybe a Cadillac is more appropriate.
7. I am not in school.
8. I have to work.
9. I can rent a car while traveling now.
10. Being past the dating age in some boys' eyes.
11. I still rock out to Miley Cyrus.
12. I don't have an excuse to be silly anymore.
13. I am still silly and giggly and sarcastic.
14. My Prince Charming seems more and more distant.
15. I am aware, from seeing my friends' relationships, that I deserve a Prince Charming - just like in He's Just Not That Into You.
16. I probably won't be able to have as many kids as I've always wanted to - unless the Lord decides to give me twins or something - we'll see. Let's be honest here. The biological clock ticks, my friends!
17. As opposed to those who get married young, I will have tons of already-endowed friends at my wedding.
18. That doesn't really matter because I'm already 25, so I probably will never ever get married. I missed the mark. Time to buy lots of cats. *shudder*
19. I still hate cats.
20. I can't afford a dog.
21. I can afford a blog.
22. I admit that I feel pretty old.
23. I still have my figure. (what?)
24. I feel like a bit of a failure sometimes, which I know is completely stupid. Believe it or not, I do have some self esteem....
    

AND.... LAST BUT NOT LEAST....
25. I GOT TO GO TO THE MT. TIMPANOGOS TEMPLE ON SATURDAY AND COMPLETELY CHANGE MY LIFE. It was wonderful. The more I think about it, the more I feel at ease about it, though I was pretty overwhelmed. I cannot wait to go back soon. I am adjusting to clothing changes. Many of my close friends and family members were there with me. My brother Ryan flew in from Boston... Heather Beck from Vegas... and many others came for my special pseudo-wedding day. I love all of you! Thanks for making it a happy birthday!!
P.S. Very fitting to turning 25 - I have lost 25 pounds in the past 6 weeks. Don't tell anyone.