Long Time, No Talk....

Bloggggggers! I'm still here. Shocker.

I haven't had much to blog about recently (current calling includes a lot of confidentiality, though I have some marvelous stories + not dating anyone + not loving my job = nothing fun).

I have missed ye olde blogge though, and so here is a catch-up go-to list cop-out post!

Things I am currently obsessed with:
1. The Royal Wedding. Yes I watched it live from my bedroom in the middle of the night. It was worth it. I am not ashamed. I do not approve of Harry's gf though... can I be prettier than Chelsy and marry him?
2. TOMS
3. Laughing Cow Cheese Wedges - chipotle flavored
4. big gold earrings
5. Modern Family
6. NetFlix on my lunch break
7. Tangled
8. Marc Jacobs bags that I aspire to one day be presented with at no cost
9. EUROPE - LEAVING IN ONE MONTH! I SEVERELY NEED TO HIT UP PARK CITY OUTLETS THAT WEEKEND FOR THEIR MEMORIAL DAY DEALS (INCLUDING LUGGAGE)
10. MENSA puzzles on my desk calendar. I look forward to solving them every single day. I get sad if I miss it.
11. Lancome Hypnose Drama
12. Kettle chips - sea salt and cracked pepper flavored
13. Learning how to sew better - I may have impulse-purchased a sewing machine from Costco....perhaps.
14. Justin BieberI don't even know if I spelled his name correctly and my pride prohibits me from looking it up to check. I love my friends who actually are obsessed with him though. (No judgments here, jen/jord!)

Okay, a quick boy story for you: Fabio. Met him at new member meeting in my ward in January. He had longer hair than I'm used to seeing on BYU students, so it was surprising when he said he attends the Y. I later found out his New Years Resolution was to see how long he could grow it before "Someone at BYU freaks out and makes me cut it"... I was not attracted or interested.He said that he is getting his master's degree in mechanical engineering. I squealed, "WHAT?! That's my department!" and then we started annoying everyone else in the room with our conversation and excitement. I told him, "I guess you and I are going to be friends, then." and he wrote my name on his new member form under "friends in the ward".

My sis and I couldn't figure out which one of us he was showing interest in for a while. He had her number from the meeting and called her later that day to ask if we were going to the fireside and ward prayer. He hogged me at Ward Prayer. He asked if I would attend Institute and told me he'd be there if it helped make up my mind. He texted with Heather and didn't even have my number for two more months.

He started visiting my office.... daily.

We went out on one date and it was great but he was so nervous and tried to ask me over text at first. When I ignored, he called and told me how lame he knew he was being and then I agreed and we got ice cream. He was stumbling over words and it was actually quite endearing.

The visits continued... more like weekly now.

Now I was interested... Then we fought. He was dumb. I was right. I was rude. I apologized. He didn't.

Then he was no more. No more dates. Visits biweekly if even. Just saw him in the parking lot with a new haircut. It looks awesome, not going to lie. Institute is over, ward split. The only way we'll see each other now is if he visits my office. I am no longer interested. The issues we fought over are pretty big dealbreakers. I do want to be his friend though.... when he isn't talking about how hot some other girl is. I need to be nice, but I never initiate contact. Blah blah blah, another successful ward romance.

Blanch texted me the other night.

He told me about girls he thinks are cute and asked me if he should stay away from them based on my knowledge as their former RSP.

I bore my testimony in front of thousands of people at the multi-stake conference a few weeks ago. A boy from my ward texted me asking who the cute girl next to me on the stand was. In his defense, he is the same one who once told me "It might be a couple weeks before I take you out because there's another girl I want to ask out first"... so...

Goodnight.
Do I sound bitter? I am not. I am waiting for Prince Harry. Or just a normal guy really. I know he's out there.

Phone Valentine

The following conversation actually took place.

*ring* *ring*

BYU Capstone, this is Lindsey.

Hi Lindsey. My name is Billy Hancock. I will be doing Capstone next year. Right now I am in Kentucky working for Toyota and Boeing has offered me a job over the Summer. So, basically, I need to know what to do to prepare for Capstone since I won't be in Provo until right before Fall Semester.

[looking up his photo asap on BYU records] Okay, well we will be having a Kickoff meeting for incoming Capstone students on March 17, and I will be sending an email out at that time as a reminder. Since you won't be here, you can just send me all the information I'll need over email.

(This went on for a while ... he asked how to pick his team and project, which is done the first week of school and you don't get to pick your own team anyway)

Thanks, Lindsey. Oh one other thing - I need a grad adviser... but you probably only do Capstone, right?

That's right. I can transfer you back to the Mechanical Engineering secretaries for that. Is there anything else I can help you with?

Well.................. how old are you?

Ummmmm, what? [laughing] 26.

Oh, so you're probably married, huh?

Actually, I'm not.

OH! So, maybe.... when I come to town in the Fall, we can go on a date...?

Ha!! You don't even know what I look like!

Oh since when does that matter?

Well, I looked you up!

You did?! Oh man!

And I am blushing like crazy right now! Thanks!

Wow. It is going to be REALLY awkward the first time I walk into your office.

Yes it will be. By the way, I'm from Kentucky.

Oh no way!! Guess who visited here last week. Elder Bednar! I got to be near him!

Oh well I am 40 miles from him at almost all times, so....

Yeah, you win.

Let me get you back with the secretaries up front, and good luck with everything.

Thanks.

Inspiring Video

Click on the following link for a touching video. http://www.b-roll.net/tv/view_video.php?viewkey=dc2a6340e258630febd5

Why I love* my job

Gregg's first words to me this morning, after being gone for two weeks, were these:

"So this is how you take care of my poinsettia, huh? Letting it die?"

Eye.... twitch.... returning....


*"love" can denote any range of possible emotions I feel right now. My job description has never included watering Christmas plants that are two months old. All rights reserved.

Matt. Matt's so hot.

At Prosper, hilarious messages would hit our voicemail frequently. We were the receptionists, so any call went through us if others were not rung directly or the caller was waiting for over a few minutes for another line. This one was at the end of a Success Story left by a student. I cut out the rest of the message and just kept the best part at the end.



I didn't expect it to happen at BYU, where my line is completely private and only accessible if you dial my direct extension. I will not tell you who this is, though I can see the number it is from and know EXACTLY who left this voicemail. The question is - did she call me on purpose and then didn't realize it was recording a message? Did she bum-dial me on accident in the first place? I don't know, but I had a good laugh. Blackmail.

THE Column.

All yearlong, I anticipate one newspaper article with an almost paralyzing excitement: Miami Herald humor columnist Dave Barry's Year in Review.

The article appears in New Year's newspapers across the country. I was first introduced to Dave's writing in my freshman English class at BYU. He had an entry in one of our textbooks and I read it probably 10 dozen times. I became obsessed with it, reading it out loud and acting it out to everyone I knew, much to their utter annoyance, I'm sure.

I loved it, though, and then found out about his yearly review articles. I know not everyone shares a common sense of humor. I have sat through many painful standup "comedy" routines at talent shows and the like, wondering why the people were laughing.

Dave's humor is spot-on for my likes, however, and I hope you enjoy it too:

http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/01/01/v-fullstory/1992746/dave-barrys-2010-year-in-review.html

So Smrt.

What's that smell?

Something from the toaster oven where I was heating up yesterday's leftovers...

Why does it smell like yummy burrito but a hint of something burning?

Oh. Oops. Let's not repeat the heating incident - also caused by myself - that happened at my last workplace. I think I need a vacation. My brain is fried.
P.S. No, I did not do that on purpose. I just forgot those were in there. Also... I still ate the burrito. Will I die of toxic fumes?