Oh, just a few little things...

Spencer is MARRIED!!!!!!  I am SO excited for him!  Caitlyn is perfect.  We love them!  I am so happy that all my neighbors and relatives have NOT said "You're next!  We need to get you married!" because it wouldn't be like I haven't been trying for about a decade, or anything.  Psych.  They have. Hahaa.... but that's fine.  I agree with them.

 They look so beautiful!

We got to see a ton of family for the event.  Ryan and his family came to town for three weeks!  Evan and his family came for 10 days.  We loved, loved, loved it.  Plus, I ALWAYS love it when my parents visit!  I didn't do the dishes once!

Okay, I did help here and there, but I sure loved having mom here.  Not going to lie.

The fabulous Tiffany did my hair and we wore champagne-colored formal dresses for the reception.  Cute nieces as flower girls!!

A few of the enormously fun things we got to do this month with the family:

1. See the hot air balloons take off by Provo High School
2. See fireworks for the 4th of July and 24th of July in random Salt Lake City suburbs we had never gone to.  We are a little weird in that we are really good friends with Ryan's and Evan's in-laws.  We hope the Wilsons follow suit!  We happened to grow up with the Youngs and Seegmillers.  Because Sasha (Young) Willardson's husband does kettle corn at events, we sometimes tag along - hence the different cities than we're used to!  It was so great.
3. Get to know the Wilsons.  They hosted a BBQ at their house and we all decided we will have no problems getting along.  They had me at "Our mom is just like Lucille from Arrested Development."
4. Go to Seven Peaks for the first time in over a decade.  I am pretty sexy in a bathing suit, so I don't know why I'm not there every day.  I sucked it up (literally) and went!  It was a blast!  Jordan has been on every ride there.  I am 20 years older and live here.  And I have not.  And I will not go down those free-fall ones as long as I live.
5. Go jet skiing for the first time in over a decade.  I got to drive my own and it was SO GREAT!  I absolutely love jet skiing.  
6. Lose my iPhone in Utah Lake
7. Lose my license in Utah Lake
8. Get a new pic for my license (hated the other one anyway)
9. Get a new upgraded iPhone (Hello, Siri) with my insurance (maybe when the next one comes out, I'll "drop" this one in a lake too...)
10. Yeah, ok, I know I was stupid to take them on the water with me.  I thought (yes, actually) I was being smart.  If I ran out of gas or died and needed to be identified, I was prepared.  What if I'm trying to get to a bathroom, I can't find it, and ... my bladder explodes?  (Name it). They were in double ziploc bags in my deep board short pockets.... but I guess I like speed and wave jumping.  So sue me.  Actually, don't.  This month was expensive.  
11. Mani/Pedis with mom, Heather, and Jenn
12. Go to a wedding.  Duh.  See above.  The luncheon was at La Jolla Groves (drool) and the reception was at Sleepy Ridge.  I loved seeing extended family!
13. Go to Tabitha and Scott's baby Vera's blessing.  It was so beautiful.  Uncle Tom got to bless her, and it was the sweetest experience for all of us.   Stevie, you look so pretty in the background.
14. Raft down the Provo River.  I have lived here since 1988 or so, and have never floated the Provo River.  It was so beautiful and fun!  No trauma this time, though I did remind Jenn of my favorite rafting moment ever.  She was there.  She remembers too.  It was in Flaming Gorge.  That's all I will say.
15. Celebrate Ben's 5th Birthday!  We got to go to Nickel City and have pizza and ice cream cake at the Seegmillers'.  He's such a handsome little guy!
16. Run a 5K!  I know earlier this year I posted about my family planning on running in San Francisco this month.  The following people dropped out: Spencer (wedding/honeymoon/studying too much to train), Ryan (injured hip), Heather (injured hip), Dad (working too much to train), which left me.  Mom didn't even try because of her injured hip.  My genetically-programed hip didn't hurt at all during training!  Until this month.  We decided nobody could make it to San Fran, but Evan/Jenn/Sam were still running a 5K here.  Since it was my goal all along, and I really wanted to meet it, I ran with them!  We just did a Provo 5K for Pioneer Day.  My hip hasn't stopped hurting since.  Yay!  Think I'm done with running.  Evan was the biggest sweetheart ever and stayed by my side the whole time.  I am NOT a runner.  I was TERRIBLE at it, but I finished.  I walked twice for a little bit, but ran most of the way.  52 minutes.  I know that's laughable.  I know.  I worked really hard for that, and I'm so glad I got to do it.  I lost zero pounds from running these past six months.  That's also laughable.  Still so glad I did it.  My overall health greatly improved!
17. Decide against nursing school.  Turns out the debt will be greater than anticipated because I won't be able to have even a part-time job, and I will still need to take care of the house and live... plus all the back and forth on wanting to go was pretty much my answer that I shouldn't.  I do feel like I failed, like I'm a quitter, like I'm a loser going back to my desk job every day.  Thankfully, those feelings are fleeting and don't last very long.  My job is pretty great, and I have the means to travel, and no homework or wiping fecal matter from patients.  When I saw ONE of my textbooks for the LPN program, I almost hyperventilated.  It wasn't for me.  Not right now.  I really wasn't sure about it in the first place, and the one thing I am sure about (marriage/family) is something I don't want to bring a ton of debt into.
18. Visit Aleta in the hospital (enough hospital visits for a lifetime in that family this year) after she had her beautiful baby Dallin!!
19. Sink my teeth into lobster at Lobsterfest with the Youngs
20. See cousins, aunts, uncles, old friends and neighbors, etc

All in all, it was the busiest July of my life.  It was the BEST July of my life!

Tight Security

When you visit Primary Children's Medical Center, they scan your driver's license and print you a name tag with your pic on it.  Subsequent visits can be made with them just looking up your scanned card and matching your name and picture.  I went to visit Holland (see below for details) on Saturday and again last night, when they already had my ID scanned from Saturday.

The conversation went like this:

Receptionist: Have you visited before? 

Me: Yes, a few days ago.

Receptionist: Last name?

Me: Andersen.  E-N.

Receptionist: What???  E-N-D-E..... what?

Me:  Andersen, with E-N at the end.  A-N-D-E-R-S-E-N.

Receptionist, sorely confused: Your first name is Ian?

Me: No, it's Lindsey...

Receptionist: And you're visiting an Andersen?

Me: No, that's my last name.  I am visiting the Youngs.

Receptionist: Oh... 

Me: I was saying E-N as the spelling of my last name, not Ian.

Receptionist: Yes, okay, I found you.  Here you go.

It wasn't until I was leaving when Aleta pointed to my shirt and said, "Um... that isn't you."

I hope she handles all the important medical records too.

**Aleta and Bryan's 3-yr-old daughter, Holland, has been in the hospital recovering from brain tumor surgery.  You can read more about it here.  The tumor biopsy showed it is benign, and they still have not been able to remove it all.  They will try again in three months, since Holland has stopped breathing multiple times under sedation and has gone under the knife twice in the past week for major brain surgery.  Good news, they got most of it out, it isn't cancerous, it shouldn't grow back, it shouldn't affect her functioning at all!  Bad news, she'll have to continue the MRIs and surgery later.  Prayers are appreciated!  

When I visited Holland last night, she had just received Valium and was laughing and smiling.  It was so good to see her like that again!  I brought her pizza and she was mad that I ate some too.  That's my Holland! 

 Poor Aleta's belly can be seen here as well - 34 weeks prego and living in a hospital.  She is such a trooper!

ACCEPTED.

May 30, 2012

Dear Lindsey,

Congratulations!  You have been accepted into the Fall 2012
Mountainland Applied Technology College Practical Nursing Program.
Final acceptance is dependent upon the following:  (1) satisfactory
results of a background check and (2) satisfactory results of a drug
screen (3) current copy of CNA certification or re-certification letter
(4) attendance of the mandatory orientation meeting. Please respond by
e-mail and include in the subject “LPN Program Acceptance” or “LPN
Program Denial” to nursing@mlatc.edu by June 4th by 2 PM.

If accepting, please complete the background check and drug screen, CNA
certification/re-certification letter, copy of immunizations, TB, CNA,
and CPR (Health Care Provider or Professional Rescuer), MUST NOT EXPIRE
during the program; (August 21, 2012- May 17, 2013.), an official
transcript of prerequisite course completion. All documents must be
received by the assigned due date or an alternate candidate will be
selected.

●       Official Transcripts of prerequisite                    June
15th, 2012
●       Background Check & Drug Screen                  June 15th, 2012
●       Immunizations & CPR                             June 15th, 2012
●       TB                                              June 15th, 2012
●       CNA certification or re-certification letter            August
7th, 2012

Fall semester practical nursing courses at MATC begin on Tuesday,
August 21, 2012.  There will be a mandatory orientation meeting for new
practical nursing students on Monday, August 20, 2012 from 8:00 a.m. to
5:00 p.m. at our Thanksgiving Point Campus on 2301 West Ashton Boulevard
in Lehi.  The nursing department is located on the second floor, room
227.

When clinical sessions begin in September you may have obligations on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.  Times may vary depending upon clinical
sites.  If you confirm your acceptance into the practical nursing
program, you will be expected to attend ALL classes, labs, and
clinicals. You must make a full-time commitment to this program! There
will be a fall break on October 11-12, 2012. The MATC practical nursing
program consists of two semesters, August through May.  You will receive
a separate mailing regarding registration and tuition.  I look forward
to working with you!

Sincerely,

TJ Carter, MSN, RN
801-753-4159
nursing@mlatc.edu

Perhaps it's a sign

So, check it out.

I have been having second thoughts, doubts, reconsiderings, whatever-you-want-to-call-its about going to LPN school.  Don't freak out.  I'm still applying.

The problems I have encountered include the following:

• I met a working CNA during my clinicals who has applied to my program THREE times, with a 3.9 GPA, and has been rejected.  She is even working in healthcare, AND her mother works at MATC (where I'm applying)!
• I met a working LPN during my clinicals who went through the program at MATC and also had a 3.9 GPA.  He was also male and I think that helps in a program filled with female applicants.
• My GPA could be more like an okay golf score than anything else.
• Doing clinicals and coursework made me suddenly SUPER grateful for my office job - which, if you recall, was the whole problem to begin with - that I was looking for something more and was so sick of office jobs.  This whole process was just what I needed to feel good about 8-5 M-F again.
• Looking for LPN jobs online has proved absolutely fruitless.  If there are jobs, they are part-time, on-call, working basically as a CNA.
• I am taking care of my parents' home while they are gone to Eastern Washington and paying utilities.  I am just getting by on my current full-time salary.  How will I afford it in school?  I know there are ways, but I don't want to do anything damaging money-wise if I already have a degree and the end goal is to raise children at home.
• This is not my dream.  It was a means to feel better about life while getting to my dream of being a mother and hopefully staying at home.  I don't like the idea of pouring money into something I'm not hoping will be the end result.  
• A lady in my home ward who doesn't know I am applying to LPN school wrote on my facebook wall "I worked an office job all through my LPN school and by the time I finished school, I wish I had just stayed at the office job" and regretted doing the LPN thing.  This came the day after I really prayed for an answer on what to do.  

On top of all of this, and amid my feelings of confusion, I saw this sign on the back of a bus in front of me advertising my exact school and program.  Someone had vandalized the eyes on the nurse to look psychotically evil.  Hello!  Plus, do I even need to mention the irony of the "STOP" sign right next to it?  Twilight Zone.  Ok, I don't really read into stuff like that, but I thought it was blog-worthy nonetheless.  

Now, all my friends and family have really been supporting me and cheering me on and I feel like quitting this whole thing would be letting everyone down.  I also went through a lot to be able to apply and took some crazy classes!  I don't want that all to go to waste.  I have decided to apply and see if I even get in.  If I do, great!  There's an answer.  If I don't, great!  There's an answer that allows me to travel to Florida to visit HJolley when she moves there (congrats Daniel on the job offer!!), afford utilities, pay off my other student loan, and continue to live homework-free.  

CNA School - A blogger's dream.

Yes, it has begun! I am in CNA school right now as I prepare to apply for the LPN program. I literally leave my house at 7:45am Monday - Thursday, and get back at 10:30pm. I work 8-5, then race to AF for my class until 10:15. What a joy that is for me. What. A. Joy.

I'm so grateful that we don't have class Friday-Sunday (so I can catch up on everything and maybe get in a little sleep) and that it will only last four weeks.

So, to all my friends and family, I will see you in April.

This is what I have learned so far:

1. a few skills - including taking blood pressure, walking around holding a gait belt, changing a colostomy bag, securing catheter tubing, abdominal thrusts, etc.

2. I do NOT want to EVER be a CNA. EVER. Did you know poop freely flows from the large intestine through the incision in the abdomen and into the bag while you're changing it? Liquidy poop. You can see and clean the intestine as it hangs out on the outside of the body. Who wouldn't want to do that?

3. People who DO want to be CNAs are either Celestial angels sent from God or high school dropouts who smoke pot and have no less than two kids with a long road in front of them.

4. My class is made up of the latter and a few of us nursing school hopefuls who have all agreed to never be CNAs.

5. Vasectomies sometimes grow back.

These are some of the more interesting moments I have had from class so far (I could post daily about it, really, but let's not forget that I'm usually super awesome at keeping this updated all the time... no I'm not)

Danielle, a rich horse-loving teenager from Sandy, told us that the day "The Vow" came to theaters, her next-door neighbor slipped in his shower and forgot the past four years of his life. This started my distrust in her.... More on her later....

Mabel, a 40-something-year-old-Buddhist-Catholic from Chile, told us that she has a fear of doors.... and that someone will be on the other side to hurt her if she tries to shut it. She then told us that her friend, who is an alternative healer, taught her that it means in a previous life, someone killed or raped her with a door involved.

Last Wednesday, Danielle and Mabel were in the break room eating Lime Tostitos. Danielle offered me some and apologized that they were cold because they had been in the fridge. We all enjoyed them for a while, then Danielle put them back in the fridge. Thursday, we had a substitute teacher who normally teaches during the day class. During break, she pulled out the bag of Tostitos from the fridge and said "Do you guys want some? Lime chips are so much better cold." Danielle and Mabel said "sure!" and ate up... I whispered "I thought those were Danielle's," and Danielle and Mabel shushed me and said "We were stealing them!" Ok. I felt like I had to barf up any remnants of my accidentally hawked wares.

Last night, Annastasia bought a year's supply of junk food at the gas station and offered to share with us if we wanted. Danielle took the Corn Nuts and didn't even leave any for Annastasia. She then put the rest in her purse. I could not believe my eyes. Annastasia realized it and told her to just bring her a Pepsi tomorrow or something. It was so awkward.

Also last night, our instructor Vicki mentioned the reproductive system and said "gonads". Annastasia and Danielle both burst out laughing and couldn't stop. They were like, "That's a real word? We thought it was just something guys said." Facepalm.

Annnnd another from last night - Annastasia was reading a disease card and fumbled over the term "blood supply", saying it "blood suppry." I chuckled and whispered "brood suppry" and then she laughed so hard, she couldn't even finish the card. She finally got back to it and said "Ok, I'll try not to sound like a dang J** this time."

I decided to write some poetry about my experiences thus far.

"As I sit in the midst of racists and thieves, I can't but help but dream of Autumn's fall leaves.

Ere they talk of drug habits and religions and men, I want to return again and again.

Reincarnation and rapes done by doors, amnesia after falling from showers to floors."

That's all I have so far. I am so happy to have such a beautiful subject to draw my inspiration from.

This is my dream come true.

New.

New Year, New Post, New Job, New Goals.

I have been a terrible blogger lately. I feel like that's how all my journal entries started out when I was younger, too - if my journal were a blog.

Chapter 1: Bye, Bye, BYU.

BYU was great for so many reasons, and I love the atmosphere there. After going part-time to take classes and hiring a full-time replacement (Powerhouse Paula), I left for full-time work again. After working with Gregg, I was really excited to switch careers and not work with engineers ever again.

So, I got hired on as an Administrative Assistant at a company in Provo called Aquaveo. A company that makes software for civil engineers. And is staffed 95% by engineers.

I did, however, get a week off in between the jobs for Christmas. Party!

Guess what, though - CIVIL engineers actually have to deal with people for a living, not like my precious MECHANICAL loves I left behind. I do miss them sometimes - then a coworker makes fun of another coworker for thinking they could strip the copper out of an old motherboard, and I'm at home once again.

I think I am the only unmarried person working here. And you know what? I am liking my job!

The interview was 10 minutes long. TEN. I went to my car laughing. Tom (my boss) was so quiet and cryptic, I thought for sure they didn't like me. When they called later that day to ask when I could start, I laughed again.

You can hear the dazzling vocal stylings of yours truly at the new job here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tc2clz-Bj_M&list=UUrnhsT2Hml4NMalTXTFwT7w&index=2&feature=plcp

No, I don't know what any of those words mean.

Chapter 2: Roommate Recession

Tori and Head both moved closer to campus because they hated me and said I smelled.

Now I am living by myself in the big yellow house like one of those hermit old ladies I always pitied growing up! DON'T EVER LET ME BUY CATS, OKAY??

You know what, though? Not having to conform to anybody else's schedule is bomb dot com and I get all the hot water I want... And I can walk around or exercise sans modest clothing. Every cloud has a silver lining, huh?

Chapter 3: Ciao, Couch.

My immediate family members have all accepted a challenge to run in the San Francisco 1/2 Marathon or 5K in July.

Considering the fact that the most I have EVER been able to run in my LIFE was 10 minutes (1 mile) - and that was only after months of building up to it - also I was a young teenager and weighed like 4000 pounds less than I do right now.... Anyway, I did not think it was a good idea to sign up for the 1/2 Marathon. I do believe that people can change and I did want a worthwhile goal to strive for that would get me moving, so I decided that I would take the next six months and train for the 5K! That is literally 3x more than I have ever run in my entire life. I think it's a pretty great goal and I've been working on it for about a month now. I have doubled my endurance (which still is absolutely hilariously slow and short), but I think I'm going to make it! My goal is just to finish the 5K without walking at all. They let you do a progressive marathon with this 5K - so 23 training miles up to the marathon day (July 29) are logged and then you finish the last 3.1 the day of the race. You get a medal for 26.1 miles! We are all pretty excited!

Chapter 4: Date Death

After countless conversations with my siblings about how great ldssingles.com can be, and letting go of my pride and reputation, I joined the online dating world. Spence was blessed on that site. I was not. I saw it as more of a cafeteria. A cafeteria for zombies - hungry for each other and nothing else in the world and a little scary a lot of the time. I'm so glad other people have had it work for them. I had some nice guys, some creepers, and the usual type of guys who are attracted to me being attracted to me... and they were also creepers. I'm ready for my membership to just go ahead and expire. Haha... maybe a married coworker will set me up with a friend of theirs who isn't an engineer. Wouldn't that be something...

Chapter 5: Sayonara, Single Spencer

Spence has recently taken a ladyfriend and I don't know how much I'm allowed to say - but there may be some big changes to my family this year.

No, I'm not pregnant.

Neither is Caitlyn (pictured above). No worries.

We are excited, though.

An encounter most interesting

As I was purchasing the new Capstone Administrative Assistant, Paula, her Christmas gift (a Dilbert one-a-day calendar to get her through a year of engineers), I participated in the following conversation:

Store clerk, 25-yr-old male: Do you like Dilbert?

Me: Oh yeah, it's funny, but this is for someone else.

Clerk: I don't get Dilbert. I'm not smart enough.

Me: Oh, well, I think you just need to work in an office - then you'll get it and think it's funny.

Clerk: Well that's the thing. I'm not smart enough to work in an office.

Me: Well... ermm... uhhh

Clerk: That's just it. Everything in my life stems back to me being just plain dumb.

Me: Well, you sell calendars! That's something!

Clerk: Pft. You want to know the only reason I accepted this job? My brother-in-law owns the company and told me it would be easy. I thought I could come here and just slack off. I cannot BELIEVE how popular calendars are this time of year!

Me: Well, with Christmas gifts, and the new year coming up...

Clerk: I mean seriously! I thought I could just come here and play video games all day, but nooooo.

Me: Oh...

Clerk: Yeah, for real. I thought I could bring in my TV and just sit here and slack off all day long. I don't think my TV even fits under this table! I mean, seriously, I --

Me: Thanks! [walked away quickly with purchase]


PS - a few days later, a woman told me my "daughter" (my 21-yr-old sister) was cute.

AND - 1000 bonus points to the first person who figures out what retro Christmas song I was quoting in the post title.